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Stuart Cattell
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OK, introduction. Hmm, what to say. How about:
ā??Hello, my name is Stuart, I like writing and drawing, and I hope you like them too.ā?
Thatā??ll do.
Huh, what do you mean too passive? More aggressive and confident? If you say so. Err, how about this:
ā??Read my stuff, you might learn something.ā?
Yeah thatā??s it.
What now? Too arrogant? Make your bloody mind up. Something more intellectual, OK Iā??ll give it a go. Intellectual. Intellectual. Ah hah, got it:
ā??From the instant of my conception my proclivity en route for the written word has been the overriding inducement toward the cerebral emancipation of my communal ideology.ā?
What does it mean? I donā??t know. I just said Iā??ve liked writing for a while. Well that or Iā??ve just said that my writing caused people to remove my brain. Donā??t worry, nobody will question it, they wonā??t want to appear dense. Yeah, I know its bollocks too, but they donā??t. We can have a laugh at the people who think Iā??m serious.
So the microphone has been on the whole time.
Shit.
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