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Woodrow Hawkins
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I was born and raised in North Central Florida on a farm in the small town of Santa Fe. I was always an honor roll student and tended to be more into gymnastics that football, but participated in playing football and baseball as was expected by my family. I always knew I was different, but growing up southern baptist in a small town comprised most of my large family I never questioned the fact that I was expected to follow a particular path in life. After graduating high school I moved to Gainesville and began attending college, SFCC and UF. I met a guy named Brad, he and I became best friends and eventually roommates. We spent all of our free time together, including taking road trips and mini-vacations together. I never knew Brad was gay, until after we had a big fight and I came home to find him gone from my life forever. I always knew I had a strange feeling in my stomach and had more love for him than I could ever express, but I did not know what these feelings really meant and it frustrated me. When I would see Brad with his guy friends I would become consumed with jealousy, but never told Brad about these feelings and kept them inside, confused and lost within them. Years later I finally realized what I was meant to be all along, I was gay. I never knew there was really such a thing as a homosexual, I thought I was the only person who had these feelings. I found a chatroom on the internet and began exploring my sexuality in chatrooms, discovering a whole other world I had never dreamed existed. I had to find Brad and tell him that I finally knew what these feeling for him were, but it would take a lot of digging to find him. In my journey to find Brad I also found myself. It was a journey that required me to admit to the world I was gay and to admit it to myself for the first time. When I found Brad he was even more attractive than I remembered, he had grown into a very handsome young man. The journey to find him turned out to be the true purpose in itself, Brad and I were different people and his life was heading in a different direction that did not include me. We agreed to stay in contact and renew our once strong friendship, but it didn't happen that way. Brad now lives somewhere in Los Angeles, probably with some great guy in a fabulous home on the beach and I reside in Jacksonville, Floriday where I was forced to move after my mother berated me for my sexuality, forcing me to flee and start life over again. Most would probably be devastated by such an event, but instead I felt the weight of the worlds lift from my shoulders; I wouldn't have to live a double-life, I could move to where nobody knew my family and be me for a change. The journey is not always about the destination, it is sometimes about the journey that is the most rewarding. Through my journey I found myself and shed all that was a fiscad of what everyone wanted me to be and now I live my life as my own, as it was intended.
CntryFLGuy's Genres: romance, life, gay, love, relationships
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