You came up to me. You came up to me and you were sweating. And the pavement bore you like a burden and the sun shoved you forwards into my arms. Oh terrible tumbleweed why did you not come sooner? I own a head full of ice. You know in my pure pantry there is a cool stone floor. And yes I want you. But why did you not come sooner?

You cling. You climb the stairs drunken. No, there is nothing here, please, please don't do that to me. Don't, I am melted enough already. Oh if only you'd never come towards me. You were perfect on the pavement. You were. And yes I want you, I never won't. I can't escape from the reek of you. And I dream of you sweating like this but.

Sorry is not enough, sorry I feel bad you say over and over. I feel bad. I feel bad you say. And I wish I could say I feel good. I wish I could put you down. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry I cannot leave you. I am bad too. I cannot stop thinking of you coming into my head full of ice and melting us all over the cool stone floor. Now what, now what? Don't speak.

It is embarrassment itself. They watch us you know. From behind. And in the street. We know different people and in total we know everyone. This is not a good beginning and yet it was the very best when you came up to me. You came up to me and you were sweating. And I know how best to shove you forward into my arms, if only you'd come sooner'¦

Where are we really? Obsessed. What drives us to drink? Never happy you know. I am your first since her I know. You are my first since him. January, February saw us both wearing black. And it never numbs. Craving. You cost more than I have and only come towards me to play, to cool down. Surprised you didn't I? Wiping the sweat from your brow.

We saw each other in the tumbled down theatre by the ocean, dancing, eyes full of height. I can remember it now it connects like that. I may even have slept with you before. Why must it happen like that? He was like you in every way and you amaze at how well it goes all night, you amaze. It is because when I am with you I am with him. I am with him.

You came up to me. You came up to me dripping with sweat. There is nothing I can do. I cannot turn you away. I have a cool parlour full of ice stone floor ready to melt. I am built for you, I contain you, I control you. Just the reeking of you when you came to me that night I cannot contain the craving. All is as it should be, all is circle and sex for us, as it always was.

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