The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it. |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
"Clink, Clunk," Went The Junk In The Trunk
The car jumped over the hump on the way to the dump.
Up and down my body thumped,
giving me a plump bump on my rump.
"Clink, clunk,"
went the junk in the trunk,
bouncing around like a spunky chipmunk.
I looked high and low out the window.
The garbage was starting to overflow
like the lava of an erupting volcano.
The car came to a stop
right on top
of some gooey slop.
In a flash, Dad grabbed the stash of trash.
He tossed it away, then it smashed and crashed,
And out splashed the rotten succotash.
I stepped out onto my heel
and slipped on a banana peel
that lay near the rear wheel of the automobile.
After I fell,
I noticed a smell
that anyone's nose would want to repel.
I looked down at my feet
and saw some stinky old meat
not even a dog would eat for a treat.
Then, from the corner of my eye,
I spied something nearby
that once I wanted my dad to buy.
It was a bright blue bike,
but both tires alike
were flattened from the strike of a spike.
Dad by my side,
saw my eyes open wide
gazing at the bike that I wanted to ride.
"With a few spews of air,"
Dad said, "I do declare
it would be an easy repair."
I looked past the bike's handlebar
and saw the trunk of the car
was already ajar.
Dad tossed the bike inside
and made sure the trunk was tied
for the long and bumpy car ride.
On the way home from the dump
the car jumped over the hump,
and I thumped up and down on my plump rump.
Just like the junk in the trunk,
the bike did a "clink, clunk,"
and bounced around like a spunky chipmunk.
As Dad drove home,
I dreamt of the places I'd roam
with the sun beaming off my bike's sparkling chrome.
Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
Hi Jessica. As others have said, this is a great children's story. The language and overall rhythm is very Dr. Seuss. I will say that you did pick a very interesting setting for this piece, but it works.
Alec |
 |
Comment by: ripleym - 2007-01-06 00:37
|
|
I'd say there was elements of Spike Milligan in this (someone else mentioned Seuss, though I've never read any).
It was certainly fun, and I liked they way it read as both a story and a poem.
Good stuff. |
|
|
| You know? At first, I was a bit taken aback, by all the rhyming and the short lines of a short story. BUT...as I read further, I realized, this is pretty freaking awesome. I really enjoyed reading it. It is a jarring new experience and I am glad to have run across it. |
|
|
| Love this Jessica, very Dr Seuss for the new millenium. Nice one |
 |
Comment by: ORROBBS - 2006-05-24 05:27
|
|
This is an excellent show of talent. The rhymes in the piece are unusually good. I look forward to seeing more of your works on here.
Keep the good work up. |
| 1 2 3 4 Next |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| | Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster. Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S | | |