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barking mad
Richard Unwin
United Kingdom, Manchester

Words: 195
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Autumn Song

To let us get at the point
we often seem to miss, that familiarity
brings contentment, we have autumn time.
Earth is not concerned with experiment,
nor scorning of constancy with maturity,
but lets each year's crop grow
the same as the last and bends the knee
to the habitual, to a beauty that is never marred
and in each dear old flower sees a new worth
that joys in meeting a familiar friend.
We remember the May blossom
snubbing a nose at the past winter
in a mockery of white
while the new shoots of spring,
their heads down, wait to charge.
We love the meadows, green again
as those our ancestors ran in,
and the open-handed flowers that display
a declaration of petals
so the puff clouds of summer can scatter
next year's seeds across the fields.
Though for the moment the hedgerows here
seem lost in a high-grown tangle
of couch grass, briar, dock and thistle,
we know that Autumn's Parthian shot
will fire off a last acclamation of decadent beauty,
that winter will bring a cleansing,
then a beginning, in which familiar frame
our joy will be undiminished.

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Comments  
Valerie Comment by: Valerie - 2006-05-12 00:32
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I like your version, "familiarity brings contentment," Nice!
For me, May wine snubs its nose at the past winter. Keep writing Rich, or is it "Dick" as a nickname? I love your nature themes.
Funkylele Comment by: Funkylele - 2006-03-29 12:13
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I don't mind the use of the word "joys" but if you wish "Rejoicing to meet a familiar friend" as a line has the same number of syllables and the same kind of meter...

I really like the theme of this poem and the flow of it.
that familiarity brings contentment" is a nice line with an interesting message that contrasts with a common adage that sounds almost identical "familiarity breeds contempt"
Comment by: - 2006-03-29 10:16
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I somehow pictured you standing in your garden eagerly awaiting the new shoots to bloom, as you have done year after year, more than likely. This is a grand poem. I find no fault in it. It reminds me of how nature often has a gentle way of putting life in perspective. - Leah
barking mad Comment by: barking mad - 2006-03-29 04:33
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Ron. Can't use "rejoices" - too many sylables for the line. I have included a comma after "thistle" in the last sentence, to break it up for clarity. Thanks for the comments. Richard.
hulshizer Comment by: hulshizer - 2006-03-29 04:23
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This was a nice good by kiss to winter. I did feel as though there were a couple of rough spots.
"we often seem to miss, that familiarity
brings contentment(,) we have autumn time" For clarity, I feel that you should end the sentence there and start a new one with 'We'.
"that (joys) in meeting a familiar friend" I am sure that is correct usage but it did not feel good. How about using rejoices?
That last sentence was so long that by the time I got to the end of it, I had forgotten what the first part had said. Also, "in which familiar frame" how about adding a comma after frame, also for clarity? Ron
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