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kissykissy24
carly-marie unknown
United Kingdom, walsall, birmingham

Words: 82
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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betrayal

Warm, sweating hands
Stumbling over my body.
A deep, gruff voice
Ringing in my ears.
I know he is dominant,
Yet can't feel weight nor power,
Only feel his hands, searching.
I can feel each finger,
Slyly reach to touch'¦
Even as he goes
His presence still remains.
I re-visit the power of his lies.
His promises of love and nurture.
Now lying here alone
No-one to care, to see, to stop,
I tell myself, 'He's no father of mine.'

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Comments  
ymh99 Comment by: ymh99 - 2007-07-20 13:48
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Carly-Marie, this affects me on so many levels. It has a powerful impact on the reader (me) "Now lying here alone No-one to care, to see, to stop.." Captures the isolation and hopelessness. Excellent job.
lofty Comment by: lofty - 2006-03-30 01:11
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wow
heartlaugher Comment by: heartlaugher - 2006-03-29 14:05
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Perfect title,perfect!
gorillalarry Comment by: gorillalarry - 2006-03-29 11:17
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"even as he goes his presence still remains" is a good line.
inviscera Comment by: inviscera - 2006-03-29 08:58
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This is another really powerful piece. You completely capture the feelings of disillusionment and isolation.
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By kissykissy24

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