writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
inviscera
Stevie Gray
United Kingdom, Oxfordshire, Banbury

Words: 99
Access: Public
Comments: 15

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Her Song

Waking for you into silent darkness,
I walk through shadows, searching for a name,
And all I've said to you has been forgotten,
And what's not lost lies dying in the dust.
My heart pumps blood that time will turn to rust,
And nothing now can ever be the same.

You gave me your love and woke within me
Strange hungers even heaven cannot tame.
I sought to salvage something of my goodness,
But now you're gone there's nothing left to save.
The bed that we once shared becomes my grave,
And nothing now can ever be the same.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-04-15 05:34
Add to Readers
      
Beautifully put. Is this first love. Your good Catholic upbringing showing through there, heaven not able to tame strange hungers.
Wonderful piece.-B
Comment by: - 2006-04-11 10:13
Add to Readers
      
I don't usually care very much for failed romance/broken heart verse, but your work transcends the type. Personal yet accessible. The line "My heart pumps blood that time will turn to rust" is so good, and also "The bed that we once shared becomes my grave". The repetition of the last line of each stanza works well, too.
ThatGirl Comment by: ThatGirl - 2006-04-11 04:55
Add to Readers
      
i love this, a kind of bitter resentment to yourself as well as the person its written about.
ComatoseSoul Comment by: ComatoseSoul - 2006-04-10 20:54
Add to Readers
      
This is one of your best (that I've read so far.) Really enjoyed it. I am curious how long it took to write. It seems like a single outpouring of emotion captured on paper. I would be surprised if you had to revision it much - seesm raw, but effective.
mom Comment by: mom - 2006-04-07 18:54
Add to Readers
      
Losing the love of your life really does feel like your insides turn to rust. great job
1 2 3 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By inviscera

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S