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inviscera
Stevie Gray
United Kingdom, Oxfordshire, Banbury

Words: 248
Access: Public
Comments: 52

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Metal Night

You step in,
past the black-coated bouncers,
and out of the rain
that beads on your leather jacket,
spills through your hair
onto pale skin.

I want to taste the rain on your lips,
but I don't want you to know that.

Instead I play it cool
(I think),
pretend I didn't notice you walk in,
pretend I haven't missed you since the last time,
pretend you're not the reason I came back again.

Across the room,
with dark eyes
and a fresh tattoo
I just ache to lick,
everything around you
diminishes,
like you've turned a dimmer switch right down.
A spotlight picks out
only you.

Two cigarettes in my mouth.
I light them both,
pass one to you:
the nearest I'll get to kissing you tonight.

We're alone for a moment,
jostled by bodies
less substantial
than the smoke you exhale,
with Hetfield telling me
'nothing else matters' and me
wanting desperately
to believe him,
to believe you.

You undo me with questions
I can't find answers to.
I try to act coy,
hope the heavy metal bass
drowns out my heart's rapid stutter,
as I fight to stand,
forget to breathe.

Then you're gone again,
and all that's left
is last orders
and the taxi ride home,
the hangover of what might have been.

One night
I'll have the answers that you want.
One night,
I'll taste the rain on your lips.

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Comments  
SkarredPoet Comment by: SkarredPoet - 2007-02-06 17:59
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There was really a good mix in this one. You captured the attitude and scene very well. I dont think I have ever read or heard a "Metal Love Poem" before...very original I love it.
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2006-09-03 09:23
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So much emotion, the scenes , drama ... everything was great. Do it so well no one could be bored reading this.
jagainst Comment by: jagainst - 2006-08-24 05:52
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Glad you pulled this one from the stack. Don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said, but this so good, and I can dig the Hetfield reference. Favorite stanza:

Two cigarettes in my mouth.
I light them both,
pass one to you:
the nearest Iā??ll get to kissing you tonight.

So cool and poignant.
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2006-05-14 06:47
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Ah, HA! This is how it's supposed to be done! What a poem, Sarah. I can't even begin to express everything I feel from this. Sad, reflective, hopeful, etc. Everything I could say is here already, so I'll just add my appreciation for sharing your talent and this wonderful excursion back in time. And maybe the future. :S xo
Comment by: - 2006-04-21 16:34
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Wow, that's really good, it's deep and it shows that they wern't deterred when they were rejected a few times. If you want something, grab it and hold on for dear life!
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