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Wonderful opening line! As usual...your language is beautiful. Stanza two seems a little weak..especially in line two. The internal ryhme in that line is almost too much.
But overall, your same sparkling work.
Tirzah |
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Comment by: Valerie - 2007-12-08 14:08
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I can remember when you first came on-line, and you were writing short stories, and if I remember correctly, you once commented that you really weren't too good with poetics. Please correct me if I'm wrong. It looks as though you have found your niche in poetry, where incidently, you belong.
You are wonderfully eloquent, and paint the grandest pictures for the mind. |
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nice images
C |
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Beautiful poetic imagery through out!
"liquid elegance" I love these chosen words~!
Excellent poem... Joni... |
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Comment by: LadyC - 2007-02-28 14:03
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| Beautiful imagery. I liked your use of short stanzas |
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