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mirelena
Audra T
United States, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

Words: 535
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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The Depths of the Ocean

Its deeps hold all secrets and its shores are a haven to many. The ocean and its companion, the beach, are the one place to which I can continuously return. It is a place of introspection and of magic. One can almost believe that fantasy will become reality.

It is best to simply gaze upon the ocean's shadowed depths. The light is reflected upon it and scattered like millions lustrous crystals upon the dark waves. The smell of the salt-tinged air, the sound of the gulls crying, and the constantly changing colors of the water can never completely be caught on the artist's canvas.

The beach is also the best source of creativity available to me. The wind whipping across its vast expanse whispers of lives I shall never encounter and unanswered questions. It speaks of stories lost to time. The wind prompts me to write these stories down so they are not forever forgotten.

The sea embodies so many characteristics. It's as gentle and erotic as a lover's touch, yet more terrifying than legions of soldiers in the mists of battle. The sea has pilfered so many lives as well as entwined destinies. Above all else, the sea reminds us of the awesome power of nature and that she is a master of intrigue.

The power of the sea presents itself shamelessly. It's easy to recall this when I watch the waves crash relentlessly against a seaside cliff, like a dragon rearing its head and striking again and again in a vain attempt to make the massive cliffs crash down to its open embrace. Time shall inevitably conquer the cliffs, but for that moment they withstand the brutal beatings of the sea.

I love to go there alone or perhaps with just one friend. The colors in a sunset array the waves in infinite hues. It's easier to discuss things of substance with the slow drawl of the ocean lulling us into blissful tranquility.

In the dark, watching the ocean from some restaurant's covered patio, the night seems endless, the only light provided by the dim illumination of the stars. The white caps appear like ghosts from the shadows and mysteriously disappear. The tide is high, that specters surface a few feet from you. During such times, the beach is transformed into an eerie story of the beyond. It reminds me of my childhood, when my callow mind molded chilling shapes from the darkness.

Lastly, the sea reminds me of my Creator above. The frightening power of the sea serves as a reminder of the colossal power of my Father up in heaven. When one sits on the sand, the light cascading through a hole in the clouds to the water below, it's not hard to imagine that heaven exists.

The sea has become my mentor. It teaches me to show respect for everyone and everything. It impresses upon me the value of seeking solitude when life becomes too cumbersome and too jumbled to untangle in the ensuring chaos. It reminds me the value of good conversation and pleasant companions. For many sailors, the ocean became their mistress. The sea has become my lover as well.

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Comments  
Duval1219 Comment by: Duval1219 - 2006-11-12 22:35
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As I said in a previous review, you do have a wonderful gift of discriptiveness. I envy you. I'm sure you will even get better the more you continue to write. We can all relate to the ocean...the soothing and calming effect it can have on all of us..they way it can open our my minds to past memories and future thoughts and ideas. So, this perhaps doesn't follow the rules of a short story as one person pointed out. Maybe that is because it is more of an essay. Too bad you are not able to classify it as such here. It would tend to fit the essay category better. Great job! :+)
mirelena Comment by: mirelena - 2006-11-12 09:41
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This was a school project. The assignment was the evocation of a place" It may mostly be sensory imagery, but thats what we were supposed to be using.
mirelena Comment by: mirelena - 2006-11-12 09:41
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This was a school project. The assignment was the evocation of a place" It may mostly be sensory imagery, but thats what we were supposed to be using.
Comment by: - 2006-09-02 09:25
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nice writing, i love the sea
suggest you read Solaris, by Lem.
the description of the ocean in that is brilliant.
Comment by: - 2006-06-06 14:18
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Ok, I'm going to be the jerk... though not intentionally. (After all, it's the jerks that find our mistakes so we can correct them, right?)

Your visuals are great here. Practically flawless. But (at least outside of poetry) there's got to be something more to it than back to back sensory descriptions. (Though I love water myself, passionately.)

But in this piece, I can barely read between the lines. Skim it once. (Interesting test.) If you skim a thing and can't pinpoint what it's about underneath the visuals and descriptions, there's a problem with proportion. What's the piece about? If it's about how the beauty and magnificant glory of the ocean reminds you of your Creator and teaches you, can you skim it and get those themes? I couldn't. I had to really hunt, myself. Perhaps I'm just crazy, but try looking at how much of this is description and how much is actual solid content (eg, What about the described ocean? Why are we looking at it? What's your point?)

You've got sensory stuff down pat here. But the reader should know what the point is pretty much just by skimming it. We see the ocean. We love it. But what's the point?

Ok, you can chuck the veggies at me now.
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