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Nameless
I am a nameless child, buried deep within the cold sand of the desert. There are no more stars in my endless heaven. No more water to wash the blood from my hands. I can cry for sleep, and my mouth stays sewn shut. I can cry for rain, and my eyes would remain blind. Where does the sun go when the whole world denies her? And here in my glass coffin, can I bathe in the silver poison-light of the moon? Will I still know my name when the sky falls down? The desert absorbs me. I flood its quiet body. I am a desolate river, running lonely through the shifting sands. There is nothing left of me. I am gone, completely. Inside of the darkness. Buried deep within the earth.
9/24/01
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Comment by: - 2006-04-09 13:50
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| Desolate....very dry. You made your point clear. - Leah |
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| I love the structure you used in this. Hopelessness can really just plow over you and keep going and going. The paragraph format really conveys that idea to me. I think I agree with Tracey about the "sky" phrase/sentence. Very effective word choice and structure. Excellent read. |
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Comment by: tcbswan Online- 2006-04-03 22:54
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So sad and bleak imagery, the glass coffin, like a glass house perhaps, the moon doesn't provide any consolation. One suggestion you write, Still know my name when the sky falls down? Perhaps add to it 'will they' or rephrase to, "when the sky falls down will my name still be known?" nice work. best,
Tracey |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-03 01:10
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| What a clear picture of hopelessness. The adjectives are thoughtfully used. Nice work. |
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