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Waiting For Burglars: Moments Alone in the Dark
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Pin drop
Empty
Night
Slow
Breath
Loud
Heart
Mouth
Dry
Eyes
Shut
Ears
Ring
Sheets
Cling
Seconds
Pass
Like hours
Eyes
Open
Pitch dark
Mouth
Shut
Tense
Hands
Ice
Cold
Twelve
Tolls
Pound
Air
Struck
With
Silence.
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Ears
Ring
Sheets
Cling
Seconds
Pass
Like hours
Eyes
Open
Pitch dark
Mouth
Shut
Tense
Hands
Ice
Cold
But the whole poem really relates to how I feel a lot of times in the dark. L And the title does too because It is like, when it is dark, your imaginary takes over and you think that someone is there trying to break in. So it decribed it well and it was an easy read
'Twelve/Tolls/Pound/Air/Struck/With/Silence'- Lovely ending, captures the tension and suspense perfectly. Each line was like the tick of a clock counting down to the dramatic ending. You must be really scared of the dark!
Powerful rhythm. Atleast how I read it.
Who hasn't feelt like this? Fear, maybe some panic. I'm bookshelfing it.
Maybe the poem would be clearer if you wrote like this;
'Slow
breath
Loud
heart
Mouth
dry
Eyes
shut'
so we know when it's something knew. I think it might help the rhythm.
