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Smoking in Mezzanine Only
Her voice is the only thing
That distinguishes her: this raspy
Dry-mouthed echo, heavy with accent
And saccharin vowels. It mutters empty
Pleasantries, as she hands me
My theatre ticket.
Polystyrene compliments
Escape from gaps in the metal slits:
Jagged and sharp as incisors. Her words
Slice through them, while I maintain
Eye contact with the vent: averting
Her face.
It hovers there:
A static Magritte apple.
The blemish remains fleetingly:
Her identity revealed before
Being replaced by another
Faceless face.
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Comment by: - 2006-05-19 13:39
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| The imagery was great, i love it. |
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Comment by: AndyMel - 2006-05-04 06:29
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"Saccharine vowels" is a bit much, if you ask me. I feel it's one of those lazy words that can say a little too much at once (on a par with awful words like Pain and Envy and Life and Death, standard Si fare, I'm afraid). Also I believe "avert" is intransitive, but if I'm wrong, doesn't really fit.
Other than those little bits, I really enjoyed this. It took me a couple of readings, but I got it. Very clever POV. Teases the reader to know what was being said... |
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Comment by: Elinki - 2006-04-30 19:45
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| great description. superb writing. |
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Comment by: lofty - 2006-04-14 16:11
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| a really fantastic piece of work ...love it. |
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| I like the imagery especially the line that states heavy accent and sacchrin vowels, I can almost picture it. |
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"The Puzzle Called Life"
I learned through the writing of this book that there are many people and things that come your way while you go through your straight edges, corners, and funny-shaped pieces in life. This collection is about life, death, and how to cope.
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