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Comments: 4

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Handshakes at Sunset

[cento]

The sunset's hectic rant paints itself
Across tumbling hills, as the colours blend:
Lemon, mango, peach, and
Orange lights spangle over hillsides;
Pinkened with cerise from the
Round red watermelon sun.

In the pin-prick dead of night,
Alabaster lights suddenly shoot upwards.
Stars are awkwardly drawn in the midnight sky -
Each one of them standing like a shadow:
Singular silhouettes in this slow and
Dry-mouthed stretch of night.

The snow-caked roofs are coloured
With bland Submission:
Overexposed, like an X-ray,
And just as monochrome.
Risk an open eye and feel the ice hit your iris:
As the rigid landscape weeps
And is sent out of sight; somewhere, becoming rain.

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Comments  
gtallen Comment by: gtallen - 2006-04-12 14:53
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I agree with Kiwi Scribbler..keep it simple. Your strength is really in your short, powerful splotches of fresh imagery.
MaggieMay Comment by: MaggieMay - 2006-04-09 08:08
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Very sunny feeling here. "Lemon, mango, peach, and
Orange lights spangle over hillsides;" like this description, you can feel a placid sunset there and kinda can smell sometihng citrusy.
Kiwi Scribbler Comment by: Kiwi Scribbler - 2006-04-04 08:23
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Some gems of expression: 'pin-prick dead of night' and a 'watermelon sun' You've got the touch; keep it simple and I think you'll get better and better!
Comment by: - 2006-04-03 15:41
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I love the description in this poem of yours. It's almost like I can see a vivid picture painted in my mind.
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