"Laughter" !
useless words.
I can't begin, and simply say, "laughter."
you will think of children,
playing, chasing, sliding, falling.
You will think of pure joy.
Of drunken brides
licking happiness.
Or drugged mothers
holding happiness.

But happiness is just another word.
an inert word.
that groom
that infant
nothing! Only mirages of friendship

Every day of my life...
No hyperbole! Every day!
I have pushed the earth in different directions,
towards spots with other humans
and have made them laugh.

and every breathe of humoured air that escapes from their mouth
a warm razor, silently and smoothly sliding across the soft skin of my soul

and I am bleeding.
I have grown pale.

I am a novelty. Not a human.
No one knows "Me!"
They know of a venue, good for a free laugh.

You see jackels,
in a dry heat,
laughing.
laughing so
fucking
hard.

Their faces stretched
across-wise
matching the maniacal laughter.
but the fur under their eyes is wet.
tears.
because all they can do is laugh.

I thought I was a jackel.
jackels are scavengers.
looking for a meal.
Faulkner thought them as buzzrards.
And, consequently, so did Jewel.

I'm not a jackel.
I'm the Zebra who has given up
laid down to rot; to feed them.
Turning the crank on the jack in the box.
not only keeping the laughter alive
but giving it the organs to proliferate

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