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it hides
in the very core
of who you are
like a sleek watery dragon
that sleeps among rocks & weeds
deep beneath the skin of the sea
only to rise each day
and startle us
with its brilliance
some people
hold the hard edges of life
in their faces
lines drawn deep
solemn curves
all downward and mean
warning us off
others
laugh swiftly with their lips
a quick pull of delicate muscles
there & then gone
a thin line
little more than
a ripple
still others
laugh with their eyes
a wild glitter that sparkles
like sunlight glancing
off the backs of waves
but contained
trapped
never quite
spilling free
but you
you laugh with your whole being
as if the world has seized you
and whispered its secret delight
in your ear
as if you would dance
into the face of everything
without fear
wind whipping your hair
as if your laughter could
in one thundering curling swoop
wash the moment free of worry
roll up the beach
and leave each small stone
glistening & sharp
proclaiming its own beauty
to the world
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Kathy- Thanks for your opinion. One thing I admire in your work is how easily things seem to flow for you. I feel like I have to work so hard at that sometimes. I barf up so much crap before things really get flowing. I enjoy revision though, so that's a plus. I was wondering in this poem about the jump between the first stanza and the second. Was that hard to follow?
I notice you are in my opinion gifted with craftmanship- using plain language skillfully and economically wasting nothing- and like the simple turnings and inticate fretwork of a master carpenter- you choose the right weight for the purpose- so your words hold up and look appealing: for example ". . .dragon. . .sleep among rocks and weeds deep beneath. . ." its like inlay- or the grain in wood without the knots that weaken. Whole thing runs like water. (pls forgive all my analogy-thats how I can see it to show you)
Wow. This is some beautiful writing. The lines 'as if you would dance / into the face of everything / without fear / wind whipping your hair' particularly struck me.
