I suffocated on anger's
Bittersweet awakening
Last night and the dream came
Rushing to me, FedExed
Through the tiny synapses connecting
My inner fears to love gone
Lost forever on the Great Plains
Of tear flood infinity with no one
In sight to cradle my hand of demise

The winds ripped clean the skin
Of yesterday, my face lay
Naked and barren to the
Provoking ridicules of those
Who were eager and greedy to
See the real me through
The cherry red, plastic Viewfinder
Shuffling through my
Childhood, click then click then click,
Frame by frame, my life mirroring
Images into the eyes of a monster's
Callous grin as (s)he drank away
Indulging and feeding sadist misfortunes
Leaving me to question'�

Reflection

Breaking the surface I drown
A little a more into
The depths of the unconscious lunacy
Gnashing away at the gray matter in my
Skull because I believe there isn't
Such a thing as simple black and white'�

Just lighter and darker shades of
Gray, never just black
Never just white
But always mixing and swirling

Gray-blue seas collapsing
The cerebral cortex of my tomorrow
Marinating in the bubbling stew of days gone
Long ago, just wanting to forget this breath
Stale and putrid of Death's long goodnight
Beckoning the tide washing chilly and fervent
Over my present state of wanting and pleading
And I awake in flames, burning
The past to ashes as the smoky haze
Spells out a question that solicits the
Words, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?

I respond and I speak

'I want to be alive.'�

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