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Son
Our dearest son to whom we fought just to keep in our arms. We love you like no others before. We stand beside you through it all. Your journey has just begun. May all your dreams come true. Keep us in your heart as time moves on.
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Our Dearest son...
Your journey has just begun...
Great emotional lines. They have the truth in them. If you wished to, you could write in some formatted way and really put together a traditional peice that is powerful. Your write is already powerful because it is heartfelt. You have the talent to convey your feelings very effectivly. So it is up to you... I like your work as it is but you have the gift to do more. |
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Emotional
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Comment by: dreamer - 2006-04-20 14:14
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| This is sweet, but all I can suggest is you might want to try experimenting with formats. For example, one of my poems (Grief) the way it is written says as much as the words. |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-07 21:35
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| Again, I can identify. I really like the way you write real, ways that so many can relate. |
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| it is interesting that you call this one a poem. however, i understand the feelings that you get across with this piece... the only difference for me is that i'm on the other end of the stick. meaning, i am the son who is leaving... to go to college, but really this piece could apply to so many more times when a child would leave a parent for an extended period of time. well done. |
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