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Comment by: Gerard - 2006-10-30 11:28
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| This is a good poem and I do like its sparsity, however, I feel that you're leaving a little too much out. Something is missing from it. I think the creak never coming comes too soon after it is first mentioned. The anticipation should come between the creak and it never coming. |
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Comment by: Gerard - 2006-10-30 11:27
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| This is a good poem and I do like its sparsity, however, I feel that you're leaving a little too much out. Something is missing from it. I think the creak never coming comes too soon after it is first mentioned. The anticipation should come between the creak and it never coming. |
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Comment by: barooba - 2006-09-26 04:14
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| I'm with Colin. I remember my hotpress intrigue and you captured it well. I like. |
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Comment by: - 2006-05-10 14:58
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| I liked it and I don't know why. |
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| even though it is short, you used very nice imagery! i enjoyed this greatly. good work. |
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