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inviscera
Stevie Gray
United Kingdom, Oxfordshire, Banbury

Words: 320
Access: Public
Comments: 22

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The Devil Rides In

The Devil rides into town on a black chopped motorcycle, handle-bars up high (hard to control, but stylish as hell). He blazes across the track with dust flying out behind him, like a low-flying black comet, like a bad omen. Head down against the grit in the air, eyes hidden behind dark lenses in designer frames. Leathers crack in the desert wind like bull-whips. The sun glares down out of that big blue sky: the eye of an unforgiving god.

The streets are empty. Tumbleweeds blow across the trail - something out of a better class of Western. Setting the scene. It's good. It's always good, when the Devil rides into town.

The engine's fevered, high-octane scream ebbs and dies, drawls into a steady, guttural throb. Oil oozes onto parched earth underneath the bike. No rainbow sheen to the oil, just pools of flat, viscous dark. Black cowboy boots - scratched and scuffed - touch down. The ground, red and baked, seems to tremble for a moment, shimmering in the heat. You call this hot? He'll show you hot.

And just for a second, behind the blind eyes of windows, in airless, stagnant trailers, in parking lots and saloon bars and a hundred other places all over town, people forget. For that one second, there are no excuses, no reasons why not. Fights break out; tongues writhe together like snakes; hands tangle in hair or claw on sweat-stained vests; fists meet faces with breaking sounds; cars swerve wildly to hit each other.

When the moment's passed, there will be apologies and explanations. Justifications will be offered for something they'll never understand.

The Devil looks around, and you can tell those eyes are smiling behind their slick shades. Engine starts up again with a sound like the armies of Heaven opening fire. Slow and easy, the Devil rides out of town.

But I know he'll be back.

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Comments  
murphi0us Comment by: murphi0us - 2006-08-18 11:51
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This straight up Rocks.
InHizImage Comment by: InHizImage - 2006-08-18 11:42
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Very nice. The visuals you created in this piece are exceptional and I like the suggestion that the devil coming to town created all that havoc, such turmoil that is evident in the world today but nobody dares to point a finger.
filthybooks Comment by: filthybooks - 2006-06-24 15:24
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This was really cool. It's like a poem, but better than a poem. The Devil you paint is vivid and lots of fun, but to me the real fun is all the surprising and effective descriptions you use. The sun as the eye of God, an engine sounding like the opening salvos of Heaven's army, the flat viscous oil dripping into the parched ground. And of course, my favorite part: "You call this hot? Heā??ll show you hot." A story this short but packing so much promise makes me feel it would be a great opening for a longer work. Something along the lines of that Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett novel "Good Omens." The only thing I would even suggest thinking about changing is the line: "fists meet faces with breaking sounds." Sitting beside such other great, vivid descriptions, this one stands out as kind of flat. But great story! Great work!
shepard Comment by: shepard - 2006-06-10 18:05
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This LIVES, it takes up residence and is a real thrill to read. In so little space you have taken us on an extraordinary outing and I thankyou.
Olga 253 Comment by: Olga 253 - 2006-05-21 08:08
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Holy MOLEY is this ever powerful. I am spellbound. Very smooth and impeccably controlled.
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