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gtallen
g taylor allen
United States, NJ, Hackettstown

Words: 234
Access: Public
Comments: 10

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leaving



while you slept,
I walked the pebbled shore below the docks,
     and felt freshwater sting my face
    from unseen clouds;
    felt sea-tides rising, falling, rise
    to my feet, and breezes moved
    my hands along my sides.
and while you slept, I walked the pebbled shore alone.

while you slept,
I reached across the field of waist-high grass
    we used to dance through, sing to, love in,
    and tore a wildflower from the sandy earth,
    let it fall into the broken winds
    and greening waves
    and listened to the sky light on my skin
and while you slept, I reached across the field alone.

while you slept,
I counted stars and moons until they blurred
    and twinkled in the sky as phantom-discs
    but had only my hands on which to keep.
    they grew cold in the nighttime air
    and grew pale in the wash of moonlight
    and they are like your hands now,
and as you sleep, I count the multitude of stars...

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-08-17 08:53
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i love the imagery in this poem. its very real and very effective. Sad, but good. The last line made me hold my breath... :)
jkaber Comment by: jkaber - 2006-04-20 16:40
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Excellent poem! Very effective use of repetition, nice imagery, consistent tone. Just plain old great.
denisedee Comment by: denisedee - 2006-04-14 11:59
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stunning. truly stunning. i feel like it is dark outside.
Comment by: - 2006-04-13 15:07
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"twinkled in the sky as phantom-discs"
Wow.. just.. wow. You effectively evoke the a sense of nostalgia throughout the poem, through beautiful phrases. Wonderful.
MaggieMay Comment by: MaggieMay - 2006-04-13 07:55
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also; you seem to have developed your own style. Very nice and refreshing overall.
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By gtallen

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