her voice rings in a darkness
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Poetry >> her voice rings in a darkness
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her voice rings in a darkness
sing a song to me,
irrevocably sweet.
in the pauses between words
as you catch your breath
I will hear my lifetime until now
sleeping, sighing
and with a final word
your voice grows scratchy,
choked with all sentiment
greeting a young man
in his final moments'
hollow, yet hands cupped to
feel the fill of everything.
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Comment by: - 2006-10-04 20:27
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oh! i liked this, very sexy in a beautiful way! i thought it was going to turn out sad - but it wasn't ( or at least i didn't get sad out of it! )
... how were you able to move your poem over? ( the spaces ). |
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| really tragic, yet very beautiful all the same. you really bring it all together in the last line and give the poem a proper ending. it all just fits perfectly. good job. |
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"as you catch your breath
I will hear my lifetime until now"
loved this, loved it all. It's a great poem! |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-18 12:13
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How beautifully sad! :D
Your title makes sense now that I have read the poem...she is wishing you farewell.
I am almost at a loss for words to express how touching these lines are. With a few powerful phrases you have portrayed so much, especially in the phrases "I will hear my lifetime until now
sleeping, sighing" and "hollow, yet hands cupped to feel the fill of everything." Wow----this is excellent stuff! |
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| i can hear that. and i also like the 'feel the fill'. love imagining holding fullness, even as it leaks through your fingers. wonderful transient line. |
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