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Devatchka
lolita Birkeland
Canada, Newfoundland, St. John's

Words: 118
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Dirty girl

Because I've done it again

I was your slave when you said when

You pulled at my pants and devoured my soul

My body is empty, i only feel cold

You've been here before, I thought you were him

You always look different when I commit sin

And you cut me and groped me and I never win

My fate I believe is to suffer in sin

You fucking bastard stop hiding

These words are for you

But I ponder and wallow and force others to read this shit

Dirty girl.


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Comments  
jagainst Comment by: jagainst - 2006-04-23 12:54
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Your flow and rhyme are dead on, and i love the closing line 'Dirty girl.'--impecable timing and much enjoyed.
d13tp3ps1 Comment by: d13tp3ps1 - 2006-04-13 18:28
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I really like this poem, but i think it would have more emotional impact if you played with idea of it being freeform, i think the rhyming distracts from the emotion.
but it is very nice <3
Comment by: - 2006-04-13 18:21
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like this a lot..good poem, great work
Comment by: - 2006-04-13 17:29
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Wow, such a deep poem. The phrase "Dirty Girl" at the end of it gives it an awesome ending.
inviscera Comment by: inviscera - 2006-04-13 17:16
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Interesting words. 'You always look different when I commit sin' - that line, at that point in the poem, rolls off the tongue so well.
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