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synaesthetic balance
the exact shade of tarnish
your psychic filth paints my heart
is the same as your nail varnish
on those nails that tear apart
the skin of my face in an unwarranted attack
with my kirlian eyes i see your blue skies
and your karma turns the air black
a chromatic shift in the temporal drift denies
your words veracity there's a deep lemon lack
i want to acheive a burnt sienna calm
but you offer me scarlet injury and no sweet colour-wheel balm
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Comment by: shepard - 2006-04-15 22:31
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| on those nails that tear apart,,,it begins there's varnish, and tarnish and before she rips into your epidermis those 1st 3 sentences design a sketch of this woman so well that by the time i'm to the nails that tear apart....THOSE NAILS ARE FAKE, I can smell that headache perfume she wears before reaching the 5th sentence, Her evil so vaporizes the room that the words in the first 4 sentences drip with it.in those 1st 3- sentences she develops not only scent ,but weight and girth an imposing presence she steps right off the page. bravo |
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Comment by: Manda - 2006-04-15 08:53
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| of all the psychological 'disorders' to have, synaesthesia is the one I wish I had. (though perhaps I do, slightly. long story...) beautiful piece that is really a visual pleasure to read |
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"the exact shade of tarnish
your psychic filth paints my heart" -- great imager there. Expertly laid out, and right on an intresting meter. Great Write over all. :) always a pleasure!!! :-D
"acheive " -- achieve (harmless typo, them damn 'a' words eh? ):) |
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| I love the last line. It fits my mood perfectly right now. |
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Synaesthesiacs united!
The last 4 verses are so intense and full of vivid imagery that is overloading my sense of taste and sight (I have mild gustatory-visual synaesthesia- stupid psychologists). I can only describe to you are tastes of smoky gunpowder, then moving to the bitter taste of almonds and than finally to eating moist earth (I think of injury as having a graze when bits of earth are embedded in the cut). |
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