Ok so I wanna change the past,
Let it go.
Am I so pretentious,
That I think it's all under my control?
I tried to control the winds,
I raised my arms and took it in.
I was young and chanted spells,
I felt that power would give me control.
When I was 10 I used to vomit,
It wasn't pretty but I had control.
It never changed how I saw my body,
But it made me think I had control.
A few years later I stopped eating,
I saw things changing,
I'd found control.
I thought my body was the answer,
But in the end, I lost control.
Now I'm grown up
I smoke a pack a day
I drink to calm the pain
No more, no less ashamed
But again I lost control,
And now its being shoved into my face.
I'm too old to fuck up now,
I've run out of different roles,
But because of what I've done,
I have no soul,
I've lost control.
