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Words: 149
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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S.O.S

Mayday my heart was just shot

down crashing unperceivable into

the ground concealed without sound

my call for help keeping my pain

stealth relinquished in my chest

S.O.S the international distress

signal for help someone hear my

plea mayday someone please come

rescue me my hearts abandoned so

imperishably switching channels so

despite the memories and pain is

more than my mind can handle pierces

my hearts crust deep into the mantle

straight through the inner core my

hearts falling impalpable deep into

the ocean floor as my boundless cries

of pain engulfs my plane replacing

my confessions of everything if pain

is love than this must a blessing


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Comments  
danae Comment by: danae - 2008-04-16 11:45
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Very interesting style...like everything is shuffled into a succint sentence or mode of reasoning, with a metre and rhythmic style...

checking on my readers..
Comment by: - 2006-05-17 17:55
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Nice
Comment by: - 2006-04-28 00:12
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I agree that this would go well at a poetry slam. Have you tried it there? The lack of punctuation gives the poem a breakneck speed, which is necessary to drive it home.
angeldawn21 Comment by: angeldawn21 - 2006-04-22 11:14
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I automatically envisioned hearing this poem at a poetry slam. I love the sense of immediacy caused by the line structure. I like the lack of puntuation - it forces the reader to put his or her own inflections and pauses into it as it is read.
Comment by: - 2006-04-20 09:20
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Very fast pace to this poem, the flow seems good and strong. Good metaphor of the plane crash. Might need a full stop at the end otherwise no punctuation necessary.
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