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Comment by: - 2006-04-21 01:13
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| shes turning 2 on the 28th april ,.. and thanx |
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Comment by: danae - 2006-04-21 00:33
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Rebel or denounce societal expectations and you become a pariah, by our infantile society's outlook. Everyone wants to tell you what to do, but they won't help. They have expectations. Be yourself, and always true to what you believe. Very nice phrases and punchy verbal backlashes...honesty comes through, also discontent.
Sorry, but I have to be truthful...you're also very beautiful. How old is the little one? |
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Comment by: danae - 2006-04-21 00:26
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succinct and sylistically emphatic. It exposes vanity and preoccupation on many levels...
I got your request and added you to my list and hopefully joined yours...have a look at some of my stuff and let me know what you think...I'll look at your other poems when I don't have 4 web sites to design and people breathing down my neck that know nothing about computers or what makes a web site...like, it's not just a letter you type, but try to explain that in simple terms to simpletons. adieu |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-20 09:23
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| Sounds somewhat odd as a cry for freedom, might need development to explain more. As a poem though seems fine and I like it. |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-18 07:50
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| nice poem, but it reads bettter if you start at 'i've gotta be thin' rather than the first line, which you repeat later on anyway. i especially liked the rhythm of the first few lines. |
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"The Ashanti Raider"
The Raider is a valuable mask from the Great Lakes region of Central Africa made available to trade for guns. Then it's stolen. Its owner enlists a random collection of movie extras to get it back. Action is graphic. Imagery lurid. Not recommended for gentle readers.
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