this is the first chapter of a story i started some time ago and i've kept it going so thought i'd get some opinions of it!! Critism is very welcome!
Chapter One
"Are you ready yet?" Mrs Johnson called in to her daughter.
"Almost" Elizabeth yelled back as she applied the last dabs of make up to her already beautiful face. She took one last look in the mirror, sighed and reached for the thick, grand oak door.
Elizabeth walked into a long corridor. It had a rich red carpet, red walls which each had one even row of pictures; on every one of these was an elderly man. Elizabeth's personal 'tour guide', as she called him, was trying unsuccessfully to explain who each one was.
At the end of the corridor was a very grand staircase. It had two sets of stairs, one on each side of the landing. Elizabeth glanced to her right where a dull looking creature stood. He had round slightly slumped shoulders, no exciting facial features, brown hair and a black penguin suit. They walked down the steps each on the opposite side to the other, met on the small round landing, linked arms and preceded down the single staircase. At the bottom stood Elizabeth's mother and father with disgustingly soppy smiles.
Elizabeth knew that this was the man she was expected to marry. But Elizabeth was only just 18 and she intended to carry on living life as a spinster until she found the right man. Then, and only then, she would marry and then she could live an exciting life and if her parents disapproved and cut her off from the family so much the better. At least that would stop them comparing her to Janey all the time.
The car ride seemed to go on forever. Thomas - her fiancée - and her father were discussing business (the main reason Thomas had been chosen by Mr Johnson was that he was in the same business as him) and her mother was talking about how Elizabeth should have done her hair.
"Really Elizabeth you should have got the maid to do it, it would look so much nicer if it wasn't in plaits. And honestly that dress with those shoes, what were you thinking? Janey has this darling dress that Samuel" Janey husband "bought her, she wears it all the time, if only you were more like her" She sighed and tutted.
The blood inside Elizabeth bubbled up; a thermometer bursting flashed in front of her eyes I'M NOT BLOODY JANEY she wanted to scream.
After the torturing ride they finally arrive at the Mansion where the ball was to be held. Thomas tried to help her down but Elizabeth refused his hand. They walked into the grand room; arms linked went through the stair scenario again, which was worse because of the fact that they were introduced as a couple. They were shown to their seats and left to talk. There was a long silence during which Elizabeth fiddled with her hair and Thomas fidgeted nervously.
"So Lizzy have you any plans for the weekend?" he asked desperately.
"The social events in my life are of no concern of yours. And don't call me Lizzy." She snapped coldly. She knew exactly what was coming now. Whenever things turned awkward Thomas would suddenly launch into a talk on business. She was right. As Thomas talked Elizabeth looked around the room inspecting everyone
A young man carrying a tray - must be a waiter she noted- walked past he had springy brown hair, high cheekbones, a muscular chest and a dazzling smile. She watched him move around the room, he had to be the most handsome man she had ever seen.
Her thoughts were broken by the sound of her mother's voice.
"You two should be up there dancing not sitting around here like lemons," she said shooting a smile over at Elizabeth papa.
'Mother you know I can't dance" Elizabeth knew that her mother was well aware that her feet should never touch the dance floor.
"Of course." Slight giggle "Oh, if only you had taken those lessons," here it comes Elizabeth thought "like Janey." Elizabeth took a deep breath and forced out a smile.
The subject swung to politics and the three got engrossed in conversation. When Elizabeth got up and walked off no one noticed. She had seen the young waiter disappear behind the drinks counter and guessed he was serving drinks. There was no queue so she could talk with him.
She strolled over casually and hoped that he would come out. She waited but decided to stay in the vain hope he would talk to her.
'Can I get you a drink?'
'No thanks' Elizabeth's stomach fluttered at the sound of this sensuous tones.
"Why don't you go back and sit with your family?" a deep soothing voice said. Elizabeth heart raced.
"I couldn't stand another word about Neville Chamberlain." She turned round to look at the dashing young speaker.
He laughed, 'Politics hey, all they ever talk about at these 'Upper class' and then his face turned serious, "Some people reckons we'se going into war with Germany after their attack on Poland"
"I think it's all a hoax to see how strong we are. I mean it's a shame about Poland and everything but it doesn't really affect us does it?"
"Yeah you're probably right" although he said this any fool could see he didn't believe it. That worried Elizabeth "I'm Kieran by the way"
'Elizabeth " she said.
"Is he your brother?" He asked pointing over at James. It amazed Janey that even when Thomas was nowhere near her he could still be a right pain in the ass.
"No. My brothers at home, likely sod! And my sisters married with two kids. Have you got any siblings? 'She said steering the conversation away from her fiancée.
'I was blessed; brought in to house of five boys!" He said sarcastically flashing her a heart-melting smile.
"God" she exclaimed "that must have been hard on your parents"
"Only mum" he said quietly.
"Oh why was that?"
"Dad died in the World war"
"I'm sorry," she said feeling slightly awkward "My cousin got shot down"
"Was he in the airforce?"
"Yeah he loved flying"
"So do I, my eldest brother taught me when I was younger. 'He took a deep breath and hurriedly said, "If you're not doing anything tomorrow night I could take you up."
Wow, this beautiful young man was asking her out. HER.
"I'm sorry. I should have known not to ask'"
"No, no I'd love to, but there's something you should know first. That man over there" she signalled at James, and then said at an amazing speed "He's, well, he's my fiancé. I don't like him though; it was all arranged by my parents I didn't get a say in the matter. I'm not going to marry him though. I've sworn to myself that what ever happened I would not marry him." She took a deep breath
Kieran looked a bit shocked "Well the offers still there." Janey smiled. 'I'll meet you outside the Marks and Spencer's in town."
"OK "She said in a dream.
"Smith get back here there's a spillage"
"That's me. Bye" he said
'See you tomorrow." He disappeared in to a side door.
She walked slowly back to the table.
Her mother glared at her. Damn, she thought she hadn't noticed.
The evening dragged on with no amazing topics of conversation. Then the talk hit wedding plans. How was she going to survive this?
"Of course I will hand pick the bridesmaids and help get the dress designed. Roger you will pick the tuxedos and check the best man. This wedding will be very easy for you Elizabeth. All you need do is show up and look radiant. Janey did it so well." Deep breath.
Finally they began to discuss something else. Thomas asked her to dance and after a sharp look from her mother Elizabeth unwillingly accepted. Thomas moved like an elephant, he was so clumsy it was unbearable. They sat down again but were only seated for a matter of seconds before a waiter came over. It wasn't Kieran.
"Excuse me, miss" he said to Elizabeth "someone left a handbag over near the drinks. We believe it belongs to you." Elizabeth looked around and saw Kieran with a bag in his hand.
"Oh, I do believe I have left it somewhere. How careless." She got up and walked away.
"He's waiting for you out there," The waiter said disapprovingly and vanished. Elizabeth walked through a little side door that led outside. She could still hear the music playing through the walls.
Kieran approached her "May I have the last dance?"
She stopped herself before she said, "I can't dance" and remember the words of her beloved nanny "the perfect man test is dancing anyone can dance with the right partner."
Elizabeth stepped forward and then they were together. He put his strong arms around her and she felt safe and secure, a feeling she hadn't felt for years. She glided round the small lawn and didn't have to apologise for any wrong moves. That song would stick in her memory forever. When the song ended they broke apart held hands and walked for a while.
"Were you the oldest in the family?" she asked.
"No, second but I still have to go to work. If I don't find it I'm lazy, if I do I get complained at for being out to much"
They talked for half an hour until Elizabeth realised that she was supposed to be seeing if her bag had been found.
"I'd better go," she said reluctantly.
"She you tomorrow" he smiled and turned away.
Elizabeth wandered back to the hall dreaming about Kieran. She knew she was going to get shouted out, she knew she had no reason for being away so late but she didn't care. A handsome young man had willingly spent time with her wanted to again. It was the most wonderful day of her life and no row would spoil that and no one could take it away. That night she was untouchable.
Icy tension. That was the best way to describe the journey home. Elizabeth's Father and James discussed business while Elizabeth and her mother said silently both preparing for the unavoidable row.
The horses stopped and James opened the carriage and helped Mrs Johnson and Elizabeth out. James tried to kiss Elizabeth goodnight but she walked off when his head titled towards her.
Elizabeth walked in to the sitting room. Her mother was standing in the middle of the room, her father sitting by the wireless.
"Elizabeth Johnson I do not want to hear your excuses I just want you to know that James says one more night like that and he'll break the engagement"
"Oh what a shame" Elizabeth muttered.
"How dare you. You know full well we need his money."
"Oh well as long as everyone else is ok then never mind my happiness"
"Don't you dare take that tone with your mother" Elizabeth's father roared. Elizabeth gulped she was actually scared. "Go up to bed NOW."
"But I haven't had any tea" she said shakily.
She knew immediately she shouldn't have said that. She could almost see the steam coming out her father's ears, "I don't ruddy care get up to your bedroom now and don't answer me back" her father bellowed.
She fled out of the room and ran upstairs trying to stop the tears. She flung herself on to her bed and sobbed "Bizzy" a croaky voice said. She sat up to discover a 16 year old boy sitting on a chair.
"Yeah squirt" she said trying to force out a smile. He got up and walked over to her bed and gave her a much-needed hug.
