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Rancid Puffy Balloons of Stinging Salt
The deer's like to eat salt. They like to eat salt more than they like doing anything else in the whole entire world. They lick the blocks of salt because it's something they do. The humans give them the blocks of salt they just adore licking. The deer's trust the humans who provide them with the salt because it's something they do. But the humans are sinister and take advantage of the trust the deer's have so unwisely bestowed upon them. They hate the deer because the deer pose a great threat to them. The deer doesn't know it, but the deer is a threat to the human's society. The humans placed the blocks of salt on the metal table. The metal table shook with remorse as the human's injected Arsenic syringe after syringe into the blocks of salt. Than they lifted the blocks of salt, and replaced them will the old molested blocks of salt. The salt was ready and the human was glad. The human cleaned the metal table and threw away all the syringes.
The next day the deer were licking the blocks of salt because that is what they do. Than the baby deer's began to die. The mama deer began to die. And the papa deer began to die. All the deer were dead. The man went to the place where the salt stood and the bodies of the deer lay. He took the bodies to his house and skinned the deer, throwing their meat into the nearby stream. The metal table was covered in blood. Then he made some scarves, hats, and jackets out of the deer. And the deer were dead. But they didn't care they were dead. They just loved being alive. They don't even know they are dead. They have been oblivious ever since their little light went out and their body decaying amidst the filthy stream.
There are chemicals in those streams. That the humans from the companies above put there. It wasn't an accident. They did it on purpose. They did it on purpose because it would allow them to prosper. Now fish and birds die in the filthy rivers, suffocating on runaway birthday balloons. Balloons made in a factory. People work there. Some people show up for the job. They take one look and their eyeballs pop all over the millions and millions of resumes until the whole world goes blind. And there was no more time.
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Comment by: AJSmith - 2006-08-22 07:50
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Hi
this is the first thing of yours i have read and i am impressed. it's easy to write in this kind of style but difficult to inject it with poignancy. I thought you did a very good job. Two things stand out in my memory - the metal table covered with blood and the ending - it was very clever to use the millions and millions of resumes as a metaphor for the number of people involved in the various slaughters around the world. This image generalises what started as something small - making it universal. I think i was impressed with this more than anything else.
The writing was concise. The imagery sharp. I wouldn't change anything - if you were looking for more tangents to take this to, perhaps you could think of more things to do with the deer's body (horses for glue etc) but otherwise, very good. |
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| I am blatantly impressed with your obvious talent and great empathy shown to nature in this beautiful, but angry piece about how we abuse the life that walks amongst us- simply brilliant! |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-18 14:23
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| your writing style leaves me humbled...very impressive |
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