S is for smile

I is for an infinity of play days

X, for xtreme love of everyone

Six, an age of innocence, no evil exists in your world

You love your family

You're still you're Granddad's little princess

And he just means everything to you

If he wears a mask and breathes funny he's just playing

If he no longer works in his shed he got bored

If he lies on the couch all day he's tired.

He still smiles

He still gives hugs, when he can

He still laughs, even though it might make him cough a bit

He still loves you. That it can't take.

When the phone rings no worry is caused

When you're called into the living room it's just to decide what to do today

When you're told to sit down you think it's polite

But when you're told you're Granddad's dead, your heart stops.

I was only six, it just wasn't fair

He wasn't torn from me at too early an age

I never realised what was happening

I should have savoured my days but I didn't

Why couldn't he be evil?

Why couldn't I have hated him? Why?

But I didn't I loved him and it's killing me

I still wake up and cry, 9 years on

I cry myself to sleep thinking about it

I torment myself with thoughts of him 

I try just to smile- not to cry but it doesn't work I still do what forbade myself

I clutch to the toy he won me and wish it was him

Songs make me weep so I try not to listen

But my tears could still fill all the oceans.

And it's all because of that stupid little white tube

It goes in the mouth, it gets sucked, it goes out

It doesn't make any worrying noises

It doesn't flash warning lights at you

But it's always the quiet ones you've got to look out for.

And now I'm never going to do it

I'll never put that thing into my mouth

I learnt from my sorrow

But my dad, he didn't, he's started smoking

I can't go through it again

That mass murderer that people love

It caused me so much grieve and can't wait to do it again.