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"For the last guest is coming
And I do not wish to feel shame
When I look into his eyes
And know Death is his name..."
Chills....death..here it comes.. in your face...and you dont want to waste time....Death is scary...because it takes you into something that you have never known....Blackness?....or Hell?... or Heaven?...which shall it be?...Who knows..not me.... I love this poem....I agree. |
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For the most part I really enjoyed your poem and the questions posed. The second stanza was really confusing.
"What man can say
At the end of his days" this was also confusing when read in context with the other lines. Maybe that first line should read 'What can man say'? |
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This is really something. Ok lets begin with the first stanza, very embracing from a readers perspective we can sensitise with this character almost immediately since we find he/she asking question we have a thought about the use of rhyme is very well done. You talk about fear, struggle and life's lessons and most importantly the uncertainty of it all. I love the last line of the first stanza, it really brings these thoughts home, 'Yet the end's all too near' To me it shows how short life is and how the search for something more can suddenly come back and slap you with the notion of the time you have lost. The second stanza is just magical the way your have so eloquently juxtaposed the light with the darkness of our own human incapabilities to accept it. WE as humans isolate ourselves form the unknown and sometimes we even become so wrapped up in the darkness that the light is drown out by us. The third stanza starts off with a line that reminds me very much of the notions employed by Shakespeare in 'All the world's a stage' The idea of human beings playing parts, assuming rolls.
The questioning in the fourth stanza and the continuation of these up until the sixth give your reader time to reflect on them their own lives, your use of the rhetoric is excellent here.
I found the last stanza quite fitting since it kept in tune with the desolate undertones and it would be wrong to try and turn this pattern around just for the sake of a 'happy ending.'That said it is a tad depressing and perhaps a final revelation could be introduced. Call me ignorant but the idea of the old 'grim' being the last guess came as quite a surprise to me, a nice little (well am not so sure the word nice is appropriate here) but it was certainly a twist for me. This is an excellent poem and of a pretty high standard it shows thought and effort and for me, it has certainly paid off,
Holden Blake |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-19 01:58
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Good piece. Well thought out rhyme and rhythmn consistent throughout. Many questions that we've all asked at one time or another. Best bit for me
The earth does not shake
Yet my footing's not sound
The spirit awakes
Yet no warmth can be found
Good work keep it up.-B |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-18 19:41
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| Wow!! I really like it. I think it has sort of a dark twist, but that just adds to the beauty of it. I really think that a lot of us can relate to this. I certainly can. Very very well put. Bravo! |
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