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crazybeau
Romeo Roxas
Philippines, Lipa

Words: 161
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Broken Hearted ( A love trilogy, Part 1)

See,
My heart in bloom,
just like a bird,
flying merrily in the velvet sky,
Singing melodious songs of time.

Then,
You suddenly came along,
with that feeling inside.
In just a couple of time,
you left my heart imprisoned.

Truly,
I was so confused to what am I to do.
Will I object or stay with you?
But you proved you're not like others,
who will leave me in a room,
and bring me in doom.

At last,
We were both so in-loved,
we were both caught in each other's arms.
We were both tied up by the cupid's arrow.
Hope this feeling will last.

Just a sudden,
You changed so fast,
you changed your mind
just like from the start,
from the first time we met each other.

Now,
Here I am in the dark,
deeply hurt by the wound
you have given me,
leaving my heart that was yesterday in bloom,
but now in doom'¦

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Comments  
luswart Comment by: luswart - 2006-04-20 20:46
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Romeo,

lots of imagery and feeling.
It reads a little rough to me.
maybe just me

Lu
frumpalump Comment by: frumpalump - 2006-04-19 19:02
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oo, i've felt this one before. i know that it hurts. you stated it very well in your last stanza. very nice. just one thought, in stead of saying, "just of a sudden," try changing it to "all of a sudden." it adds a sylable, but it makes more sense to me. nicely done tho.
1

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By crazybeau

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