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inviscera
Stevie Gray
United Kingdom, Oxfordshire, Banbury

Words: 466
Access: Public
Comments: 20

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318 London Road: A Requiem

Last summer's bluebottles litter the window cill, trapped between panes of glass. Dry, fragile, the bodies of moths and butterflies lay flat on the ledge, like sad pressed flowers.

Sunlight, weak and watered-down, catches the dust motes as they eddy in some imperceptible breeze. Old people's light.

The dust is everywhere. It cloaks the top of the dressing table, disturbed occasionally by fingerprints that must be yours. It dulls the lustre of the bottles of expensive perfume you no longer wear. It clings to the frames of photographs, discoloured by time, stained nicotine-yellow with regret. A soldier's faded sepia smile looks sad and lonely behind glass plate.

Your heavy silver hairbrush is tarnished and whatever shine it might still have is lost beneath the dust.

The carpet is thick with it. Its colour is muted to grey and the fabric is worn down to the underlay in a track between the door and your side of the empty bed: a path you've been walking since before I was born.

The pillow on the bed smells of the night cream you use: you can neither really afford nor justify it, but you use it all the same. Under the pillow, there will be the hard, knotted rope of your Rosary beads. I don't need to check for them: I know they'll be there.

From the walls, Jesus and the Virgin Mary look on compassionately through films of neglect. An old charcoal drawing of your daughter gazes into dusty middle-distance.

On the bedside table, your prayer books, Bible, a vial of holy water. None of it was quite enough.

The wardrobe door is half-open. I can see inside, the piles of once-beautiful shoes - glamorous, high-heeled - now abandoned and slowly decaying. A fur coat hangs in politically correct exile alongside dresses you'll never wear again.

Hair pins and rollers bristle in drawers. A few brittle, dyed strands wrap around pink plastic curlers, and setting lotions ferment silently in their bottles.

The walls seem to breathe into the room a loneliness that no amount of painting or re-papering will dispel.

This is your room.

That house was sold years ago, and has changed hands many times since. People have tried the house on for size, but you, it seems, were the only one whom it fit.

I saw you diminish and die, in the hospital, in the care home. I saw you buried on a dull December day, watched as a box that seemed far too small to contain who you were was lowered into the mud.

But I remember the coldness of your fur coat against my cheek, the smell of the musk you always wore.

Even now, in a room long gone with you, your fingerprints still trail in the dust.

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Comments  
InHizImage Comment by: InHizImage - 2006-08-12 08:47
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This is beautifully painted and well written. The imagery is some of the best that I've read and makes me feel the pain of the narrarator.
Going on bookshelf!
CatmanStu Comment by: CatmanStu - 2006-06-21 21:46
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A wonderful testament to the power of memory and the space left behind when someone dies who played a big part of your life.
The line about the box being too small to contain the person is definately the high point for me, probably the best description of the nature of the soul i've heard to date.
Comment by: - 2006-05-28 01:42
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"The pillow on the bed smells of the night cream you use." The use of senses attached to memory attached to the very real feeling of loss. We all deal with this in different ways. Some drink, some fight and wreck stuff, personally, i feel that writing is the best remedy. In putting the words down and constructing visuals that exist in the spaces between the words, this is the best way to put the ghosts to rest.

"Even now, in a room long gone with you, your fingerprints still trail in the dust." I really like this line, it speaks of not just the physical, tangible remnants of a person's being but also of those memories, those echoes of a person's spirit and power while they were with us. The meaning and the links to your soul and being come through clearly and with such resonance that the words and lines stay with the reader.

Truly excellent work.
AubreyJo Comment by: AubreyJo - 2006-05-27 22:36
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What a beautiful tribute. I cannot say any more than you must know. You are a very talented lady ;)
Olga 253 Comment by: Olga 253 - 2006-05-21 08:00
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Wow. I am mesmerized by your perception and your writing skill. We definitely don't "go some place" when we die, do we? We are always around. I think that would be helpful to those who grieve.
The only thing I noticed was the beginning sentence, where you use both the present and the past tense (litter (present) lay (past)
It would be better to use "lies".
I am really in awe of your skill.
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