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The Silhun
Salahuddin Jitmoud
United States, Kentucky, Lexington

Words: 195
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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The Vampire

Amidst the deserted murkiness of the night,

Walked the vampire who chilled the hearts of many with fright.

A long black cloak was draped over his shoulders,

And his strength was powerful enough to demolish boulders.

He bore a sword stronger than any human can wield,

His hands were swift and he did not need a shield.

He slaughtered many and did not rue that,

And he killed a very strong dragon with a mere hat.

As he walked,

He came across a man and they talked.

The man could not see under the veil of dark,

And soon the blood and shredded body indicated the man's mark.

The vampire continued to walk through the city,

He continued to spill blood without pity.

As the sun peaked over the mountain tops,

The people came out and cleaned the blood with mops.

The vampire despised the sun,

So his dark power veiled the sky and his job was done.


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Comments  
uqbahTC1 Comment by: uqbahTC1 - 2007-06-26 11:53
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wow, nice nice.
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2006-07-10 17:29
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I enjoyed they way you've managed to get the story across with rhymes and still did not make it sound forced. I could see the images in my head. Good job!
frumpalump Comment by: frumpalump - 2006-04-24 13:49
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nice tale. i liked the imagery. good.
goodmoses Comment by: goodmoses - 2006-04-23 20:31
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I like how each line can be deep if you percieve it to be so. Such as the line "The people came out and cleaned the blood with mops." It gives the impression that the vampire's work is nothing more than "the usual" for them. That in itself adds a twinge of terror to the enigma of the aforementioned.
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By The Silhun

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