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broKEN
Kenneth Fairfield Jr
United States, Washington, Olympia

Words: 57
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Drugs part 2

I've been trying to find God
all of my life
I haven't found Him, but
I've had a great time looking
in all of the wrong places

something something
something is lacking
something something
always attacking

I've looked inside and
I've stared up through the rain
Drugs are good, they help to
Help you ease the pain

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Comments  
proofofyou Comment by: proofofyou - 2007-04-23 15:53
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i liked the first verse, it made me smile. it can be fun sometimes, can't it. but then sometimes i think you might not appreciate it as much it with out the rest.
broKEN Comment by: broKEN - 2005-07-12 08:54
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i never really think much about form and schemes, i'm just barfing. plus, if yr writing about drugs, there's a good chance yr on drugs and who concentrates on intricate rhyme patterns when on drugs? thanks anyway, i don't think it's that great.


p.s. i was on drugs
Comment by: - 2005-07-12 08:11
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I like it, again as in your other poem the repitition is nicely used and placed in a perfect spot. Your rhyme scheme however is alittle off, dont know if you were aware of it or if thats just how the poem is supposeod to be up. In the first stanza there isn't any scheme. Second there's an abab scheme and in the the third theres part of a scheme with the rain and pain. Like I said I dont know if you were going for that or not. Still a good piece though.
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By broKEN

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