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When Stars aren't Enough
Feeling for the hand that leads us
(Bleeds us)
The pull of fate
At my elbow.
Is it nowhere to be felt?
I detect the doubt in your voice,
You're wondering if things will work out all right.
Well that makes two of us.
A fog'so dense I fear I'll lose myself in it'
Shrouds you so that you cannot be touched.
I miss you so much,
It is too hard to explain what you mean to me,
But if I tried,
I'd say you're a little like the stars.
If they were to disappear,
So much beauty to be sacrificed,
Awe lost on people's tongues
As their eyes find there is cloud cover tonight.
Except there are too many nights
For me to bear this disappointment.
If I could only blow the clouds away
And discover you behind.
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Comment by: Beck - 2007-08-09 11:27
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Hi
I liked this a lot... I really like the way you shifted from being in direct conversation with the 'object of desire' in the poem with the use of the fog line. From here on I interpreted the poem as an inner monologue talking of missing the person you're directly still talking to and in contact with because something is different to how it should be... not right. When relationships are coming to an end I've always felt as if it were like talking to a completely different person that's what this poem felt like for me, that lump of regret and longing for a happy ending that won't come. The ending was really beautifully phrased. |
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Comment by: Sophia - 2007-01-16 03:45
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As their eyes find there is cloud cover tonight.
Except there are too many nights
For me to bear this disappointment.
If I could only blow the clouds away
And discover you behind.
I like this ending a lot, very tender. |
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