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The spotlight
If it was not for her voice,
she would have stopped going long ago.
All that built up emotion,
she would not allow.
For being at home with no encouragement,
only makes it worse.
She has the talent to be a star.
The special trips to far away places,
are only a dream until the next bus trip.
The stage calls her with all the bright lights.
Spotlight oh spotlight, I need you.
I only feel great in your warm light.
The time on the road is way to damned short,
for the bus is pulling in to the school parking lot.
Time to go back to the silent world.
Till the next spotlight is shone.
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Comment by: - 2006-05-05 19:50
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| Great imagery, Amy. Looking forward to more. And thanks for reading my story. :) Best wishes, Lee |
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Comment by: dreamer - 2006-04-30 20:21
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| Very nice. I can see improvement with each poem. Reading it to myself, it seems like you could have a pause after "For being at home", in other words putting no encouragement as line on its own. Of course that would change the emphasis, so make sure you do what feels right. I really liked how emotional the piece was, so keep experimenting. |
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Good poem written with feeling. Need a little work on clarifying pov.
I read it as if the subject was also the narrator, which works of course. But as you know from these comments, people perceive thing differently.
I do hope this young girl fulfills her dream. Lets have more of your work.
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Comment by: Jamilah - 2006-04-29 23:00
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| I'm not sure if this is what you intended, but when I read this I feel the frustration of wanting to fulfill a dream while tending to the family. "Being at home with no encouragement" and waiting for the school bus. That's something every "mom" can relate to. |
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Comment by: Mystie - 2006-04-27 02:27
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| I like it. It speaks of how fleeting dreams are. You finally get it and it doesn't last, but for a short while. Keep up the nice work. very descriptive. |
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