The party was in full swing when Lindsey arrived, bodies mingled and merged; dancing, talking, hugging, laughing. Lindsey searched the crowd trying to find a familiar face, pushing herself through the throng a pathway materialised in front of her only to evaporate once she had passed by. Somewhere amongst this mass she would find Seth, butterflies skipped in her stomach at the thought of seeing him, would he be pleased that she had made the effort to attend this party or would he be annoyed at her last minute arrival? It was this question more than the thought of seeing him which was giving Lindsey butterflies, she had an underlying dread of upsetting Seth and avoided it at all cost. It was for this reason that she had decided to attend even though at first she had refused to accompany him. After Seth had left she felt the old feeling of guilt creep over her at the thought of letting him down and had changed her mind. Lindsey had dressed quickly hoping that she would not be too long behind him, but the taxi had been late, there were traffic jams as she entered town, everything had seemed to conspire against her. So it was that when she eventually arrived at the party it was already packed to capacity, Lindsey had not realised that it was going to be such a big event.

Taking her jacket off she threw it over the bannister, she felt drab and dated compared to everyone else. It was funny how Seth never took the time to explain things to her, he had told her that the party was no big deal. Still she was not annoyed, he probably realised that if he had told her she would have been more distressed and would have only ended up working herself in to a frenzy. That was part of her attraction for him, that he was not was not so daunted by life. This party for instance would not faze him, in fact he absolutely delighted in such large gatherings. Seth had dressed without showing the least hesitation in his choice of clothes, he simply seemed to know which outfit to pick and in Lindsey's eyes he always seemed to get it just right. She on the otherhand would dither for days, obsessing what to wear and it had been for that reason that in a fit of pique she had decided not to go. Lindsey knew as she uttered the words that she would regret them, but it had been Seth who had taken it all so seriously, a row had ensued and for once she had not backed down. Lindsey had been adamant and Seth had said, 'Suit yourself'? and that had been an end to it. Oh, I hope he was glad I had decided to swallow my pride and back down Lindsey thought to herself. She could not wait to see him so they could laugh at their silly row and be friends once again.

After an hour she was frantic with worry and imagined that as she entered one room Seth had just that second walked into another. A drink was passed to her, swallowing it automatically she placed the empty glass on a nearby table. Lindsey walked into the garden, it was bathed in a fluorescent glow from twinkling lights which hung from the trees and hedges which bordered the garden. People mingled chatting and laughing and with the soft twinkling lights and the pale moonlight shining down on them they seemed to be ethereal beings caught briefly in a snapshot; but still Seth was not amongst them. Another drink, this time champagne, was passed to her and was consumed with equal swiftness. After an hour Lindsey felt uneasy wondering around on her own as people bustled and jostled against her, she was also feeling slightly tipsy, she sat down with a thump on the stairs. Maybe if I sit here long enough, Lindsey reasoned, she would see Seth emerging from one of his many bolt holes. This seemed to be a safer bet than running around in circles she thought and giggled at the ludicrousness of her situation.
'Hi there! Are you Okay?'?
Lindsey looked up a large, thick set man was staring down at her. 'Oh yes I'm fine, thanks.'?
He looked down dubiously at her, 'You look a bit lost sitting there all on your own, would you like a drink?'?
Lindsey paused for a few seconds and said, 'Why not!'?
He laughed, 'Why not indeed!'?
He returned almost immediately with two glasses held in each hand. 'Well I hope you like wine because this is the best I could do.'?
Lindsey smiling up at him said, 'Oh I'm not fussy!'?
He stood before her a big bear of a man and Lindsey liked the way he looked, the laughter lines that played around his eyes, he seemed to offer the support that she needed. Although somewhat relieved by his presence she still felt anxious and her eyes scanned the partygoers apprehensively, still searching for Seth.

Seth was talking to Caroline a work colleague and friend who was bright and attractive, they often ended up together at these sort of events as they had a lot in common. Several years ago they had had a brief affair and Seth smiled wryly to himself remembering how Caroline had acted hysterically at first when he had ended it. She had even threatened to tell Lindsey but she had eventually recognised the affair for what it was, an interlude that had developed out of mere curiosity than anything of more substance. Thankfully it had resulted in a mutual understanding that they were better off as friends. Caroline was far too complicated for his taste in any event as she was always in the middle of some personal crisis, either at the start of a love affair or there was a messy break up that she was dealing with. Caroline was not a patch on Lindsey and never had been they were like chalk and cheese. With Lindsey he knew where he stood, she was quiet and thoughtful and they suited one another perfectly. It was one thing having a fling, as he called it, but it was quite another ball park when it came to a serious committed relationship. As far as he was concerned he could separate the two quite easily as long as Lyndsey never found out what harm was he doing?
Thomas, one of Seth's closest friends, came over, 'I thought you said Lindsey wasn't coming tonight, I've just seen her in the garden,'? he said interrupting their conversation.
'Have you,'? Seth returned, 'Well that's news to me she must of changed her mind,'? turning to Caroline Seth said, 'Wait here a minute I'll go and find her.'?
He raised his eyebrows heavenward and Caroline laughed, they had an unspoken acknowledgement that Lindsey was a bit scatty and Seth had to try hard not to be too impatient with her.

Seth walked across the jostling room towards the open patio doors that led to the garden. It was a wonderful July evening, warm after a hot, sweltering day and the soft smell of roses greeted him as he stepped out into the garden. Gentler music was playing competing with the more raucous music of the house, he stood still searching the crowd for his wife. Seth spotted her, she was talking to a man he had never seen before, standing beneath a tree shadowed against its frame. He smiled a surge of pride engulfing him, one that she had decided to attend after all and two that she looked so beautiful. Her blond hair was caught up in a loose pony tail and she was wearing a loose summer dress, yet she still managed to look better than the overdressed, adorned women who were milling around her. He walked over towards her.
'Hey you!'? he said playfully, she jumped a flicker of uneasiness clouding her previous carefree expression.
'Seth, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!'? The large man who she was with stepped back, a smile frozen on his face.
'Seth this is James, he's been keeping me company.'?
Seth held out his hand, 'Nice to meet you.'?
'Likewise,'? James replied.
'Hope she hasn't been boring you too much,'? Seth joked but Lindsey's face grew tense.
James stared at Seth and said, 'How earth could she do that?'? but he returned Seth's smile.
Lindsey seemed flustered, 'Well it was nice talking to you James maybe I'll see you again?'?
James lifted his glass to the couple in a gesture of farewell and said 'You never know.'? He walked away from them and was lost from view as he re-entered the house.

The night continued in a blur, Lindsey laughed and chatted to the people around her but now she felt herself looking for James. Every so often she would see him briefly in the distance only for him to be engulfed by the shifting throng or she would catch a glimpse of him chatting with a group of people looking relaxed and at ease with himself. A warm after glow still lingered as she recalled how pleasant it had been talking to him in the garden. Seth was his usual self, the centre of attention and as the night progressed and the drinks flowed Lindsey mood subsided; she was a mere shadow, a backdrop to Seth who shone and submerged her in his glow. Lindsay seemed to watch from a distance as her husband and Caroline flirted with eachother. Years ago she had suspected him of having an affair with Caroline and maybe he had but she realised she no longer felt the overwhelming jealousy that had once consumed her. She could now see that Seth would not like such a headstrong women as Caroline, she would be too much competition for him. Seth needed to be the alpha male and Caroline would of thwarted that. Lindsey felt shocked at her own admission of her husband's character but this perception had been creeping up on her for some time now. In fact it dawned on Lindsey that she actually felt controlled and manipulated by her husband where once he had made her feel loved and protected. Lindsey looked up, feeling somebody was watching her and saw James smiling at her, she returned his smile and felt the goose bumps raise on the back of her neck as he winked at her; she turned away confused but happy.
It was a year later and the party was a hazy memory that resurfaced for Lindsey only as a reminder that if she had not attended things would be so different. She was slowly emerging from a fitful sleep, as she opened her eyes she stared at her husband sleeping peacefully next to her. She could hear his shallow breaths and stared at him knowing it would be the last time that she would wake up next to him. He slept on blissfully unaware that she was leaving him. Lindsey felt tears spring to her eyes and held them there momentarily savoring the guilt she felt. Seth had been a good husband, she still felt he did not deserve how she had treated him, how she was going to treat him, she corrected herself. Lindsey also knew that if she did not leave now she never would. She would be consumed by him, encompassed into his world, losing all sense of her own identity. Lyndsey knew that she had been drowning for years and it was James who had thrown her the lifeline that she needed. Seth was selfish, self obsessed, full of his own self worth which had suffocated her. When she had met James at the party and then by chance the following week they had fallen into an affair almost by accident, what she hadn't expected was to fall in love. A fleeting affair at best was all that she had wanted, a chance to feel wanted, alive.

So now that the fateful day had arrived she realised she did not even have the guts to tell Seth that she was going. She would leave a note and maybe at some other point she would be able to talk to him. Lindsey dressed quietly, the rest of her clothes were in a couple of suitcases under the stairs waiting for her. On top of this for the past few weeks she had even been sneaking clothes out of the house, along with a few keepsakes and photographs. She had felt angry at first that Seth had not noticed citing it as another example of his lack of interest in her but that feeling had soon evaporated. Lindsey ultimately felt duplicitous and deceitful but she knew there was no way she could act upfront, she was a coward and a long drawn out battle was not to her taste. She paused at the bedroom door and looked at his sleeping frame, she could make out his handsome profile and remembered how when she first met him she would stare at him for hours, pinching herself that he had even looked at her. She heard him sigh gently to himself and pulling herself together she left.

Seth opened his eyes as he heard the bedroom door close quietly behind Lindsey. So she's left me, he thought, the waiting game was over. He breathed in deeply and felt the pain gnawing at his stomach. Why didn't he get up now and stop her, tell her how much he loved and needed her? No, Seth could not do that his own ego would not allow it. He understood his own flaws as they had slowly been plucked out of him one by one as he saw Lindsey flower before his eyes. He had watched as she had blossomed into the vivacious, confident and best of all funny woman that he had first fallen in love with. Lindsey had once been able to make him laugh at a drop of a hat, he had not recognised how withdrawn and solemn she had become during their time together. He realised in a moment of clarity that he had slowly worn down her vitality so that she would always be there for him. Seth realised how truly manipulative he had been to take the lifeblood out of her. He had acted selfishly in the hope she would never stray; so she would never realise how truly vulnerable he was. Seth saw for the first time that it had been Lindsey who had always been his inspiration. Seth had spent too long being the macho male and it had finally occurred to him that it was not what Lindsey needed, in fact it was not what he needed. So, now when his heart was breaking he wanted her to have her own way for once. Seth even knew it was James who Lindsey was leaving him for. He would even go as far to admit that he could understand their attraction, he had seen it the night of that party when he had discovered them talking beneath the tree. There seemed to be a calmness between them even then but he had ignored it refusing to have faith in his own intuition. As he laid looking up at the bedroom ceiling a blur of tears stung his eyes, he blinked them away rapidly refusing to feel their relief.

Thomas and Dave were having a beer together. They had been friends since their university days where they had also met Seth. The three amigos they had childishly called themselves, but this old expression still remained. Lindsey had also been part of the gang but only as far as being Seth's girlfriend.
'Well,'? Dave said after swallowing his first drink of bitter, 'I knew it was coming but I didn't expect her to be quite so callous!'?
Thomas grimaced, 'I know,'? and then after a short pause asked, 'Have you seen him lately?'?
Dave nodded, 'Yeah, this morning. He's in a terrible mess, I asked him to come out with us tonight but I don't think he even heard me.'?
Thomas shook his head, 'He should pull himself together. She's been making a holy show of him for the past year. He should be grateful that he got rid of the stupid cow!'?
'So much for the sympathy card hey! You know what he's like about her, he'd have her back tomorrow if he could.'?
Thomas grunted in reply, 'I know who would of thought it!'?
The two friends grew silent mulling over Thomas's statement. Dave looked up, 'No, I mean it Thomas, he's in a bad way. We should go round and try and cheer him up at least.'?
'O.K. let's finish these first. We'll call in at the Offy on our way round at least that way I can get pissed if he decides to pour his bleeding heart out.'?
Dave laughed and slapped Thomas on the back, 'You're all heart mate!'?

It was raining as they left the pub and after a quick dash to the nearest Off Licence they hailed a taxi. It was not long before they were knocking on Seth's door.
'Come on you old reprobate open up.'? After a couple more of quite hefty knocks they both started to worry.
'Come on Seth get your arse into gear!'? Still no answer.
'This doesn't feel right,'? Dave said, 'I'm breaking in.'?
'Wait there mate he might of nipped out to the shop,'? Thomas's tone did not match the confidence of his words.
Dave ignored him, took off his jacket wrapped it around his hand and with one sharp punch he had broken a small pane of glass in the frontdoor. He put his hand through and pulled the latch of the door open. It was dark as they entered and they both fumbled around looking for a light to switch on.
'Seth!'? Thomas shouted but there was no reply.
Dave ran up the stairs whilst Thomas checked downstairs.
'Quick, Thomas. He's up here. Phone an ambulance!'?
Dave pulled his mobile from his pocket, dialing quickly he carried on walking to where Thomas was. Seth was laying on his bed, bottles of tablets were scattered around his bed and a bottle of whiskey lay on the floor, the dregs of its contents staining the carpet where it had fallen. Seth was unconscious but breathing heavily.
'Let's get him up,'? Dave said as the two friends made frantic efforts to revive Seth.

Once in the hospital the night seemed to drag on endlessly; with the first glimpse of the light they heard he would survive.
'My God, Dave I thought the three amigos had had it tonight.'?
The two friends stared at Seth as he lay in his hospital bed and knew that they had come very close to losing the one person who glued them together. Seth had always been the loud one of the gang, overbearing some might say but they knew he was a sensitive soul deep down, kind and well meaning. He was their confidante, a man who would always listen to other peoples problems but who never shared his own. Dave and Thomas felt an overwhelming sense of guilt that they had not understood how truly low Seth must have been feeling. Although they acknowledged that Seth had not been the ideal husband they had secretly admired his ruthless approach towards women. It was Thomas and Dave who had picked up the pieces of his numerous affairs, even Caroline still hung around hoping Seth would throw her a few crumbs and reignite their doomed affair. Caroline had become a sad and pathetic creature who was unable to maintain a relationship in the hope that one day Seth would return to her. Seeing him laying on the hospital bed, pale and listless it suddenly occurred to them that Seth was only human after all and Lindsey, the one woman who had always earned their pity, had toppled their hero in front on their very eyes.

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