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Elinki
Chris McGuffin
United States, Colorado, Arvada

Words: 18
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Draconian Veil

Propriety-
Notoriety
discomfort
contort
&
Distort
Mirror Art

Enamate untruth
Smearing sooth
Reflecting illusion
in states of contusion

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-04-30 19:24
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I like the disjointedness of it, especially the '&' sign: it isn't used enough in poetry. Loved the title also.
RoadPoet Comment by: RoadPoet - 2006-04-30 13:52
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Cool Elinki and very effective with alternating rhyme scheme throughout.

When I have writers block, which happens occasionally, I mix as many disjointed thoughts as possible to conceive of an idea.

I would change the last line, because it is somewhat lengthy and needs shortening to help the meter and for readability- just a suggestion though.

Propriety-
Notoriety
discomfort
contort
&
Distort
Mirror Art

Convoluted truths
Smearing sooth
Reflecting illusion
In states of contusion

My thoughts...
Elinki Comment by: Elinki - 2006-04-30 13:45
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my poetry has been a bunch of dijointed thoughts lateley. this one I had truble coming up with a subject to apply it to(which is needed for a title) anyway, enjoy this extremly short breathed piece.
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By Elinki

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