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alisha
alisha b.
United States, missouri

Words: 76
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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What Is Next?

Lying there her soul is crying

Knowing that she's slowly dying.

What is next she cannot tell.

Is there heaven, is there hell?

Maybe she's been here once before

And she'll return to earth once more.

Or maybe after death you're done.

Too bad she didn't have more fun.

No more problems, no more pain,

Could be now relief she'll gain.

Who knows what happens when were gone?

Who knows if life goes on and on?


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Comments  
TDaniels Comment by: TDaniels - 2006-06-12 19:06
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This had a real good flow. Easy to read.
megabyte800 Comment by: megabyte800 - 2006-05-04 20:55
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Favorite lines: "is there heaven, is there hell?" and "who knows if life goes on and on?"

The only rhythm hiccup that distracted me was that you used "what's next" instead of "what is next". I thought that would make it flow better.

I like your knack for trying to answer the unanswerable, and doing it succinctly and economically.
Jamilah Comment by: Jamilah - 2006-05-01 21:52
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You address some of the most important questions here. Life, death, and what comes next. I like this, though in some places the rhyming seems a little too obvious. Keep up the good work.
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By alisha

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