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alisha
alisha b.
United States, missouri

Words: 143
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Time

Everythings always changing with time

It tears at my soul, it wears on my mind.

What used to be white gets soiled and gray.

What was once love has faded away.

Happiness often melts into sorrow.

Before you know it, today is tomorrow.

Shiny new things eventually rust.

Youth will grow old and then become dust.

Everyday the earth gets more polluted,

Each ray of sunshine more dilulted.

The weak and diseased increase by the hour,

But apathy lingers, gives evil its power.

So instead of just sitting not doing a thing,

Help time with the good things it can bring.

Let time heal your wounds and ease what you suffer.

It can make strangers friends, help you grow tougher.

Though pain is real, you will soon find,

Things can get better if you just give them time. 


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Comments  
Persephony40 Comment by: Persephony40 - 2006-07-29 23:07
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Very well written...Smooth, easy read. Really enjoyed your poem.
My favorite lines, sad but true.

"Shiny new things eventually rust

Youth will grow old and then become dust."
alisha Comment by: alisha - 2006-05-04 18:50
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thanks for your comments. the double eventually's were actually a mistake. i will fix it and the other mistakes. i really appreciate your help, thank you.
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2006-05-03 18:50
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Very nice work! Some corrections:

diluted
evil it's power - its

I agree with the double eventually's.
heal your wounds and ease - I'd replace the "and" with a comma

Minor things, really. I love the message you bring here. Not overly preachy, but strong and still delicate. Keep writing, and thank you for this!
megabyte800 Comment by: megabyte800 - 2006-05-03 18:09
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Very inspiring.

I don't know if it was intentional, but you wrote "eventually eventually rust". It seems like it throws off the rhythm.
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By alisha

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