The beauty of a sharpened blade
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Poetry >> The beauty of a sharpened blade
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The beauty of a sharpened blade
The tear running down my cheek,
Caused by the lies,
You made me cut into my skin,
The blood you made me set free.
The beauty of a sharpened blade,
As it touches my skin,
The splash of the red,
Against the pale white.
My blood spilled to prove my pain,
The stains on the carpet,
To make people see how I truly feel,
To make sure that I am not totally numb.
And
Then
The
End'¦
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| Now, try to write a poem from the perspective of the sadist that left the protagonist mired in pain. I want to hear those self-absorbed thoughts of torture and neglect and abandonment. I want to hear him laugh as you sniffle. His cacklings ringing in your ears as the warm red fluid escapes its skin prison. Make him pathetic and lonely. Two sides to every story? Try it. |
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Things that I liked about this poem:
The last few words sound in my mind like the last dying words of the character. I thought you did this well, to make a voice so distinct in my head.
Criticism:
Could this poem get any more Emo? I understand that everyone has to have one or two pieces that are dark and full of hopelessness and despair, but damn. This oozes with angsty vibrations. If this was the plan all a long you definitely hit the nail on the head. |
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Comment by: Gerard - 2006-10-30 11:37
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| Ain't nobody worth cutting yourself for is write. Cut them instead - just make sure the cops don't catch you at it. (note to self - bad advice). |
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Sort of put's into perspective the old adage 'Write what you know'.
Cat. X
PS - Unless you're bringing new meaning to the phrase 'Ghost Writer'. Excuse me while I hide under the bed. Eep. |
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As good as this poem was - and it was bloody good - I'm glad I read it just for this guys comment:
"Aint nobody worth cutting yourself for..."
Did anyone else read like with a thick, Southern drawl?
It's a shame self-harm has become a must-have fashion accessory to the current generation, I blame the emo's. |
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