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Bittersweet
Forgive me.
I am
The liar, who has posioned the chalice, the bitter taste of loss
Still upon my lips
It is true
That I didn't know
What
I was doing, I was too young to think of my actions,
But I am
The one
Who is suffering now
Now is the time for all good men to
Stand up for what they believe in
I wait
And try to tell you
I'm sorry
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Comment by: AJSmith - 2007-01-18 07:41
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| This had an interesting line structure. Myself, i would have split the 3rd line which i reckon would make it more effective. This had a good message which was conveyed well, but maybe more show instead of tell could have made it work a bit better. |
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| God... I can relate. Sometimes saying sorry can be the hardest thing to do. I like this because its simple but still puts the right message across. |
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beautiful
such emotions of desperation sorrow..
great poem |
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| very interesting structure... the words are not formatted the usual way and yet its easy to read and it was carefully arranged to amplify the emotions. wow! |
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Everything that could be said, it seems, already has been; so I'll reiterate what Bonnie said, that you have captured the awkwardness and dificulty of having to say sorry in a very powerful and moving manner.
Cat. |
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