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fate
hopeful and full of life
i sit with utter stillness
instill my being with strength
perfect harmony and silence
silent
perfect harmony and silence
here i am
somehow
silent and in harmony
peace
silent strength in passiveness
i am gone
somehow
stronger with integrity
somehow im thinking fate is an illusion
peacefullness and harmony
no higher force to serve
no ultimate investment for my life
somehow im thinking fate is just confusion
swirling forth in silent empathy
spiral upward in my harmony
still and sovereign
im still thinking
fate is an allusion
still
silent
harmonized
and perfect
it's so clear now that i am an illusion
be perfect
be perfect harmony
be perfect and you'll see
that fate is just confusion
Be perfect
in perfect harmony
in perfect subtlety
you see that you are an inclusion
its perfect
its perfect subtlety
its perfect in its harmony
this fate dismissing grand illusion
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| be perfect, its perfect and i like it |
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I've always liked the topic of FATE. However, I am not sure where you are going with it in this piece. Illusion, confusion, harmony, perfection, peace, silence?
I get the feeling that the speaker is brooding over something that has happened (or will or could happen) that could not/cannot be avoided. I admit, I was confused when you claimed that you were an illusion, but when you tell the reader (or whoever the speaker is speaking to) that they are an inclusion, it made me feel as though you were saying that everything is part of that illusion. But your last line contradicts that, in that fate is not the illusion but, rather, something that dismisses that illusion. So fate is harmonious?
Just food for thought... |
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Comment by: Oliver - 2005-07-18 17:01
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I like this as a kind of a mantra and I'm happy when I (think) I realise the feeling you are trying to convey: for me, that peace arrives with the quiet realisation that there is not necessarily a higher cause either to serve or to be driven by.
- tell me if I'm reading you wrong.
However, on stansa 6 it seems to me that your assertion that you yourself are an illusion is not sufficiently justified: to me it doesn't follow from the foregoing, and furthermore the last few stanzas afterwards I don't entirely get either - especially at the end with fate dismissing illusion, it all seems like a giant contradiction which would be fine - there are definitely a lot of those - except its only a contradiction without justification or explanation of why. I think if this irony is here you need to be a bit more explicit.
Anyhow, I liked reading it. I read a small amount of your other stuff and got a kick from some of that too but if you don't mind me saying so sometimes if you're too cryptic it can be alienating.
Well, hope some of that made sense...
Cheers, |
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