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LadyC
Claire Chambers
United Kingdom, Flitwick

Words: 165
Access: Public
Comments: 14

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Illusions

And you're not that special really,
And I'm not in awe of you
And I'm not that desperate for friends
That I'm overjoyed when you talk to me,
So I think it's time someone punctured your ego
And showed you that you're not important

Take off your mask,
I want to see your real face
One day the truth will come and slip you up
Your forced smile looks painful
So please spare us both and not pretend

You think you got it all
Watch out you don't fall
I had to tell you this,
So please don't be under any illusions about your self-importance
And everytime I see your self-satisfied smile,
I want you to know I'm laughing inside.

And d'you know I hate it when you patronise,
I'm not a child,
I just had to tell you
How you made me feel
Everytime I see your self-satisfied smile,
I want you to know I'm laughing inside.

So please don't be under any illusions

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Comments  
AJSmith Comment by: AJSmith - 2007-01-18 07:49
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An energetic and angry poem which worked better the further into it i got. The ending, with the poignant repetition, worked well. It was a great first line however. You just have to be careful that it's not all tell. Some images, perhaps as examples for instance, would work well here. Just something visual or metaphoric to latch on to. Enjoyable though.
Baseballerstar Comment by: Baseballerstar - 2006-10-04 18:40
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Great great great poetry, but i must parrot one of the people above. Starting the last stanza with And kinda sat uneasy with me. If you took out and, and started with D'you it would sound much better.
barry edwards Comment by: barry edwards - 2006-08-21 08:46
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have to agree with the others...starting with "and" is great and really works. very cutting, very withering and stagerringly well written. all cool.
CatmanStu Comment by: CatmanStu - 2006-07-02 15:40
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I agree with the comment about starting with the word 'and' it works really well. A lot of other comments have percieved this as a venomous attack on old lover, maybe it's just me, but I read it as someone trying to convince themselves that they were over someone, and as such the last line didn't sit quite right.

I probably missed the mark completely though.
isismarie Comment by: isismarie - 2006-06-29 14:52
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Very nice poem. I look forward to reading more..
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