I remember the first time
I saw you lingering
With your smart crowd friends
Grouped around your locker
1994
Sophomore
In high school
You captured me

Part punk rock hip
Part art house chic
Part brainy girl nerd
But all cool
So damn cool

And beautiful
With your bone straight
Long as long could be
Deep brown mesmerizing hair
Framing perfectly your
Carefree, no makeup, no hassle
Moon shaped face
With haunting eyes to match

I wanted you bad
Real bad
But my strangled heart
Let me know right then
That I could never have you
Peering through
My own black curtain
My shield of wavy locks
Grown with purpose
To blind my way
Through those angst riddled
Years

I could never be your match
Hell, I could never even be noticed'¦by you
With grades that reflected
My piss poor attitude
That reflected
My I-don't-give-a-shit uniform
Of black tees, scuffed boots,
Cig hanging like a defiant medal
Between tight lips
Of a constant fuck you scowl

Yeah sure
I got some girls
And got some action
But I was in love
With you
Only you
Just the idea of you
Even if I didn't know you

We graduated
You with honors
And a bright future
Me with'¦nothing
To show from wasted years
Of chances never taken
And dreams never followed

I got a job working
Sweating in dirty greenhouses
Several tattoos
And callused hands
You got a private school education
Dean's list degree
And a nice Toyota

I still saw you, though
In dreams you were there
With my imaginary future
Together
We were
One

Years later
2002
I saw you
Again
At last
At that birthday party
In Way Out Nowhere Ville
Through word of mouth
I knew you'd be there
I almost backed out
4 or 5 pints
Lent me much needed courage
That was my chance

And I took it
With an uneasy hunger

I saw you again
2006
This morning
When you left for work
I kissed you goodbye
Grabbed your ass
And felt your breasts
Firm against my chest

I smiled

Because I know now
I'll see you again
Tonight.
Tomorrow.
Forever.

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