Darkness Surrounds me -- test of time
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Darkness Surrounds me -- test of time
As darkness slowly closes around my sanity
A feeling of dread for the things I didn't see
Shudders creeping up and down my spine
A calming peace swept over me so divine
At last tranquility
I wait for the darkness as I pray to thee
My family surrounds me
Awaiting the final beep, 'Don't cry mommy.'
I try to speak,
'Just think of it I will be set free, free from all this humanity.'
Shot by a stray, now God is calling me
Time to go home for all eternity
In my prayers you all will be
Life on earth is hell
Where I am going is even greater than thee
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| Very Powerful, and thought provoking. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-05-01 00:18
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| it is a nice poem. It flows quite easily. No need repeating Kerosene's comment on tense otherwise very nice. |
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I liked this. Theres a tense issue though which can be easily corrected, like: "A calming peace swept over me so divine" - this is past tense and youre speaking in present, so the word swept should be sweeping.
Nice ending to a dark situation.
-john |
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| This was beautiful, full of power and elegance and kick ass stuff =D Thanks for the great read |
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hi, I loved this. It had real power and emotion in it - I had a lump in the my throat by the end of it!
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"In The Valley: A Collection of Poems"
This book is a collection of poems that cover a wide range of topics from abuse to spiritual awakening. This book is the second collection of poetry by the writer of "Confessions of A Twenty-Something Virgin".
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