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| absolutely fabulous Joni... |
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Very nice. You've expressed desire and love beautifully.
penetrate your barrier
prepared to bathe
the distance
of your ocean
paddling
swiftly
into you
Love that stanza. Reads with a very epic quality. Much enjoyed. |
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The raw passion in this piece is turned into something sensual with the use of water to convey lust/need/submergance in a sentiment. I think it gives this piece an air of surrender.
Although the words you've used seem like they are talking about the flesh (words like lunge, deep) this piece goes deeper. It could be about anything any one is really really passionate about. (That's what i love about poetry, the reader can interpret how they see it and it gets the mind going) Great piece Joni! |
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Comment by: - 2006-05-16 10:56
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It is nailed immediately "you tease my hunger
whet my appetite", The whole is great thought, passionate, for me anyway. Really thought it was excellent. |
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| Very nice Joni, really enjoyed this |
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