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Controlled
Remove your hands from my eyes
So I can see
Let me use my own tongue
Form words
Speech
Allow me to develop thoughts
Ideas
Plans
Solutions
By myself
Decide when I need to eat
Not force fed
TV dinners
Milkshakes
Potato chips
Let me be the shape I want
Not a couch slouch
I want to be desirable
Attractive
Beautiful
I want to have choice of friends
Not whom you determine
Appropriate
Acceptable
I need to scream
Not allowed
Always lonely
in a crowd
You tell me that I'm full of greed
My soul cries out
To be freed.
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| oo, very powerful. i enjoyed this one. thanks |
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It's so annoying when we want to be left alone, but we aren't, when we want to make it on our own, but there's always someone there, nearby, dictating us what to do. I enjoyed this. Nice work!
Ps: thanks for your mail and comment :-) |
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Comment by: - 2006-05-17 11:46
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| I can so relate to this. Good job of controlling your word choices. You've hit the nail on the head with this one, in my opinion it's an excellent piece and I enjoyed it very much. Opening stanza my best bit but it's all good. |
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| I like the style you employ here David, it fits the subject matter of the poem remarkably well. Also liked your rhyming in the last stanza, as if you had a 'light bulb' moment. Nice one! |
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Comment by: suleem - 2006-05-17 06:39
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I really like the word play. Solid, each phrase meaningful within itself.
I will visit more often, I like the individual reaching higher in their objectives each time they play with the thought process.
Good write. |
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