A WHIRL-POOL COMMITMENT
The room is dark and all you hear are voices. Then you see a very large metal whirlpool tub in the middle of a room with sinks and showers and toilets around the outside.

SANDY
Boy it's really dark in here, Tom. Maybe we should just forget this crazy idea and go home.

TOM
Oh, Sandy. It will be fun! Here are the lights.
Lights come on and we see the room.

FDR
No, I don't need the lights unless I'm in the Oval Office.

Sandy screams
Sandy
AAAAAA! Who's there? Tom! There's someone there (points to the whirl pool tub.)
Tom rushes over to look and becomes disgusted.

TOM
Oh, no! It's only that patient of mine I was telling you about.

The man stands up and is fully dressed in a
suit.

FDR
Extending his soaking wet hand towards Sandy.

Well hello there. Doctor. Is this that special lady you were telling me about? I don't believe we've met. I'm Franklin Delano Roosevelt and you are?

SANDY
Oh! I'm Eleanor Roosevelt. (She shakes his hand)

He doesn't let her hand go and bends over and kisses it.
FDR
No, you're not. That bat of a wife of mine has no figure like yours and she only wears those boring one piece suits. I like your suit. Can I help you take it off and hang it up to dry?

Tom comes over and extracts Sandy's hand.

TOM
Now FDR. It's time to go back to your room, so just beat it, or I'll call security.

FDR turns his back to them and lowers himself into the pool.

FDR
Go right ahead. I have doctor's orders to swim in Warm Springs, Georgia, every day from a much more experienced doctor than you. It helps my condition. I bet you don't have doctor's orders for swimming in your tiny little unmentionables?
FDR puts his arms on the side of the pool and talks.

The Doctor and I were talking about people having trouble with commitment (points to Tom). Trouble doing the right thing, trouble coming up to the plate, trouble doing his American duty, trouble.....

Tom is getting exasperated.

TOM
Now look, FDR. Sandy and I wanted to have a swim in the whirlpool for a little fun. I do not have trouble with commitment.

Turning to Sandy

FDR and I were talking about facing reality.

With her arms crossed across her chest.

SANDY
Oh really, you talked to FDR about us?

TOM
No, no, it was nothing!

As FDR talks, he gestures as if talking to a large crowd

FDR
Yes, yes, it was everything. We talked about doing the right thing, moving ahead, shitting or getting off the pot - (turns to Sandy and winks) that's my favorite saying. It really gets a rise out of old Eleanor.

TOM
If Sandy and I could have some time alone, we could deal with it.

FDR
Well, O.K. I'll let Sandy in first, and then you.
Sandy gets in the pool, but is not so sure of it. FDR reaches out and helps her in. (A true gentleman) Much splashing and giggling is coming from the pool. Tom is standing, not too happy about this. He grows impatient.

Tom
Now it's time to give me a swim, FDR.
FDR comes up in front of Tom and spits a mouthful of water at him.

FDR
I'm the fountain on the East Lawn.
Tom is not happy and yells at FDR

TOM
Now cut that out!

FDR
Want to see my new sub attack? (He ducks under the water)
Tom is standing at the outside yelling

TOM
Sandy! Put your top back on!

We hear just Sandy's voice as she puts on her top.

SANDY
Oooo, Mr. President, you really have a way with under- water attack.
FDR stand straight up in the pool

FDR
Oh, I approve, I approve. She will make a good Mother. Don't let a jewel like this out of your sight. Commitment, my boy, commitment.
FDR steps out of the whirl pool tub. Water streams everywhere.

FDR
I am going to get the Secret Service. Those poor devils never get out of those dark suits.

He starts for the door. Sandy leaps after him
and pulls him back.

SANDY
No, Mr. President. We don't want those guys here! They'll spoil all our fun!

FDR
Oh, you want to play submarine some more, little lady?
Tom, in a controlled angry voice

TOM
No! She doesn't! She wants to play with me for a while. Why don't you go into the shower?

FDR goes into the shower fully clothed. Sandy and Tom are splashing in the whirl pool tub. Suddenly they hear the night watchman outside the door, checking to see
that it is locked. They get very quiet in the
tub. Out of the shower is heard FDR, yelling.

FDR
Hey Louis Howe! It's just me, FDR, having my Saturday night tubby.
The night watchman is heard leaving. FDR exits the shower and comes over to the edge of the whirl pool tub.

FDR
Room in there for one more?

TOM
No way, get lost! Not after your submarine trick.
FDR puts his hands on his hips and looks disgusted.

FDR
How about it little lady? Doctors know nothing about national defence.We could do some more submarine.
Sandy speaks to FDR behind her hand, pretending
Tom can't hear, but he does.

SANDY
I think he was in the Navy so we better not ruffle his feathers too much.
Tom and Sandy are swimming around giggling and having a good time. FDR goes back to taking a shower with his clothes on

TOM
How did you know I was in the Navy?

SANDY
I knew you were in some kind of service, but I only guessed the Navy.

TOM
How did you know that?

SANDY
Because when you dress in your suit, you wear those funny round-toe shoes. They just look like military shoes. That's all.

TOM
Well, yes they are. I just haven't gotten around to replacing them; besides they are still OK. One thing my Navy training taught me was how to play submarine. Would you like to play?

SANDY
I played with the President, I guess I can play with a mere Doctor.
You hear splashing and then three plops as their swimming suits fall on the floor.
FDR comes over again to the whirl pool tub.

FDR
Hey! You guys are playing submarine and I'm out here!
Tom sticks his head up

TOM
Why don't you look for enemy bombers, Mr. President?
FDR goes to the big windows over the sinks and scans the sky.

FDR
MAY DAY! MAY DAY! IN COMING PLANES AT 10:00. THIS IS PEARL HARBOR. HIT THE DECK!


He runs by and picks up their suits. He pulls the fire alarm and runs out the door. Suddenly there are sprinklers and the room is completely dark except for a spot light outside, shining into the room.

SANDY
Tom.

TOM
Yes.

SANDY
He took our suits, didn't he?

TOM
Yes.

SANDY
Those sprinklers are very cold.

TOM
Yes.

SANDY
All the electricity is off, isn't it?

TOM
Yes.

SANDY
Tom. This tub is getting very cold, isn't it?

TOM
Yes.
They are quiet

TOM
I guess this was a stupid idea

SANDY
Yes.

TOM
Will you marry me?

SANDY
Yes.

The spotlight goes out and that is it.

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